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Saturday, March 23, 2013

Un-Book Worm

I was told that this post is a tad judgy. I'm sorry if you feel that way, no judgment is intended for parents who read parenting books.

That title is incredibly inaccurate. I love to read. Before Isaiah was someone we knew about, I read all the time. I find reading extremely relaxing.

I saw Mrs. Magic Wand's post about how she read all kinds of baby/pregnancy/parenting books, and it got me thinking.

I ordered two books before Isaiah was born. I knew I didn't need one that had anything to do with pregnancy, so I went straight for Your Baby's First Year and What to Expect the First Year.

In theory, they're great books. I'm sure lots of moms have learned priceless information from these books. What I learned was that I handle situations easier if I don't know what is coming.

When we first started TTC I got What to Expect Before You're Expecting. I read all about how I should chart my temperature, and all of those other lovely things that are recommended with TTC.

I found out very quickly that I couldn't handle all of that. Testing and charting made me anxious and life was much easier without that added stress.

Same thing with the baby books. I got to the part about preemies in both books and panicked and couldn't read any more. I was aware that it was a real possibility, but I'd rather deal with it if it happened, not worry about it all the way until he wouldn't have been a preemie anymore.

The whole time I was trying to read these books, Josh kept telling me that it was dumb to read because "a caveman can do it".

So I finally gave up. I put down the books. I actually gave them all to our doula and asked her to pass them on to any clients that might want them.

And here we are. Taking things as they come. Using our pediatrician's advice as our expert, and if necessary, Google.

Where do you stand? Fancy book learnin' or wing it?


  1. This definitely falls under the "do what's best for you" category. I read one when Norah was a newborn, didn't really agree with it, asked my pediatrician about it, he told me this particular one was horse crap, and I never really looked back. We've been winging it ever since. I'm actually shocked that I didn't search for a different one that better fit our parenting style since I'm usually all about manuals and research but honestly...ain't nobody got time for that. I'm too busy raising my well-adjusted, friendly, smart kid.

    ps-this is not judgey. let me point you to the post that i read last week that CONDEMNED giving your kid french fries ever, ever in the history of their lives. that shit was judgey.

    1. Isaiah loves french fries. What is wrong with them?

      I'm done with books. Fo. Sho.

  2. I like French fries. A. Lot.

    I'm winging it because I'm lazy and would rather read smut and spice up my bedroom life then learn whether or not spanking is ok.

  3. I remember on my second failed pregnancy buying all the books. I figured when I hit 8 weeks and heard the HB that I was good to go. When we lost that pregnancy, I didn't touch them again. Not on the third pregnancy, and not the two years following while still TTC.

    Now that we're in the adoption process and have been approved, I have zero interest in buying a book. I feel like nothing we've done so far has gone according to some authors plan as perfect, why on earth should we start now?!
    I'm sure as long as you're always looking out for the wellbeing of Isaiah, you can't go wrong. Besides, who needs books with experts when you have twitter - where everyone is an expert ;)

    1. You're right! Everyone on Twitter is an expert. :)

      It's hard to read books when you don't fall into the perfect scenario, which we know we all don't. One of the books said that I should rethink becoming a parent because I answered yes to a set number of questions. I was all "you don't know me, book!" and had to stop. But really. I'm not taking advice from a book. Unless it's a cook book, and even then I'm not following it exactly.

  4. Oh I love this question! We are "winging it" for the most part. I know, I know, maybe we are just naive, but seriously how hard can it be to run bath water? Wash bottles? Rock a baby? I did read "what to expect" but only once. I think I read the labor and delivery part twice just so I know what to expect. My theory is just get me to the hospital. I know things will be okay after that. Another thing, I only listen partially (and definitely take with a grain of salt) what others say about parenting. Everyone will have their own experience. If I listen too much to what others say, it is only going to stress me out. I hope this makes sense :) Have a great week!

    1. Oh my gosh, the opinions are overwhelming. I've had people tell me to give the baby water and I've had other people tell me to NEVER give the baby water. I've had people say to use alcohol on the cord and people say to NEVER use alcohol on the cord. Everything from his hair, skin, to even his circumcision seem to be fine for normal discussion. We've finally started telling people the circ isn't any of their business, because COME ON.

      We're doing well winging it. I use our ped as our expert and he says we're doing a great job. So screw the books.



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