As adoptive mamas, we kind of get bonus baby stuff. We get to choose from the regular baby things at the store, but then we have this whole other category of specialness that we belong to! I love typing "adoption" into Etsy or Amazon just to see what comes up. Here are a few of my favorites.
1) Somewhere Between - This is on Netflix. Josh found it for me and told me I should watch it. I cried through the whole thing. It was amazing hear how adoptees feel about being adopted and how some don't think of it, and others think of it all the time. I'd recommend this to anyone regardless if they're adopting or not. I learned so much about the process in China.
2) National Geographic : China's Lost Girls - This is on Netflix as well. This focused more on China than the other documentary did. Lisa Ling is the reporter, so it was nice to see a familiar face reporting.
3) Baby We Were Meant for Each Other: In Praise of Adoption - I got this book before Isaiah was born and loved it because it is a collection of stories from people who have been through what we have. I highly recommend.
4) Loved By Choice: True Stories that Celebrate Adoption - I haven't read this, but it is on my wish list to read.
5) My Family, My Journey: A Baby Book for Adoptive Families - We have this baby book and love it. Traditional baby books cover pregnancy, but this one applies to the adopted family and has spaces for information about the birth family if you have it. Special occasions like Adoption Day are also included, along with birthdays.
6) Happy Adoption Day! - We haven't read this children's book, but I plan to buy it soon.
7) I Wished For You: An Adoption Story - I can almost read this to Isaiah now without crying. The first time I read it to him he was only a few days old, and I'm glad he couldn't understand what was happening because I know I would have frightened him. This is such a beautiful story about Barley Bear asking his Mama Bear where he came from. It is truly touching.
8) Forever Family Necklace - An adorable etsy find.
9) Love Makes A Family Print - I think this is so sweet. We don't all have to be the same to be a family.
10) Not Under My Heart, But In It Necklace - Another adorable etsy find.
11) Willow Tree "Child of my Heart" - My brothers think Willowtree is super creepy because they don't have faces, but I just love this figurine that I got as a birthday gift this year.
12) We Match Hearts Print - This makes me cry every time I see it.
13) From the Very First Moment, You Had My Heart Print - I love all adoption prints, and this one is no exception.
14) I Will Come to You Print - Our adoption was domestic, but I love this for international adoptions.
15) Worth the Wait Onesie - Just so cute. Babies are definitely worth every minute of the wait.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Babies Don't Need Everything
Just in case I have any expectant moms that follow me, I want to put my two cents out there along with everyone else in the world giving you advice. It's easy to get overwhelmed into thinking you NEED every little thing that Babies R Us has to offer, but I promise you you don't. I wrote this post for Hellobee, but I thought it was worth sharing here with you. Basically I was told that most people used everything on this list, so take what you will.
Before Isaiah was born I had lots of thoughts about what we HAD to have. I had no idea, and thought we needed absolutely everything. I was wrong.
1. Wipes Warmer - We didn't get one, and didn't need one.
2. Boppy - I thought this was my number one, must have item. We got one secondhand, and I'm grateful I didn't get it full price. This just wasn't useful for us feeding bottles. It was more of a hassle than just using the pillows we already have.
3. Formula Mixing Pitcher - I mixed the formula and water in the bottle I was going to be using. I hate having extra dishes to wash, so I made it work. I used the pitcher once when I first opened it.
4. Pack N Play - Since I try to keep Isaiah inclined to help his reflux, we don't use this much. The only time we do is if he's taking a nap on his tummy, but he would be able to do that anywhere. It came with a changing table that we used once because when we put the baby on it, it leaned, and since we're first time parents, he peed everywhere and we decided to remove it completely from the frame.
5. Swing - We didn't get one, and I'm glad. Isaiah sat in a swing for the first time at two months and hated it. My MIL bought one for her house and he projectile vomited. Now that I think of it, I haven't seen that swing since.
6. Bottle Warmer - We didn't get one, and didn't need one. Isaiah has always taken his bottles room temperature. When we were using donated breast milk, we heated a cup of water in the microwave and put the milk into that to bring it to room temperature. Not a big deal.
7. Diaper Champ - I used this in the beginning, but it filled up so fast and was a pain to change the bag because it smelled so disgusting. I started walking each diaper to the garbage can we use after every changing and that works just as well. I don't like having the dirty diapers sit in his room either.
8. Baby Detergent - I went for All Free and Clear because I couldn't see myself spending the money on a specialty detergent. His skin is fine, and I'm happy.
9. Baby Bullet - I got one of these and returned it (it was from my mom, so no hard feelings). I was looking at it and realized that it's basically a food processor, and I already have two of those (and I think they both came from her anyway). I've been told though recently that my best bet is to use my immersion blender for purees, so that would be even easier.
10. Graco Snugride Travel System - I wasn't going to get this, but it was given to us as a gift. I loved the infant seat in the winter because I was able to keep him warmer, and if we went in somewhere I had a place for his newbornness to sit while we did what we were doing (eating, shopping, etc.). Now that he's getting to the point of sitting up himself, I'd much rather use the convertible carseat and Jeep stroller that I love. I gave the stroller that goes with this to my mom to keep at her house.
11. Sound Machine - When Isaiah was a newborn I had a water sound app on my phone, but we quickly switched to Blues, and now he doesn't listen to anything when he's going to sleep. He relaxes better with quiet at home, but will still fall asleep if we're in a noisy restaurant.
12. Bumbo - Isaiah's legs are a little too chunky for this, so I rarely use it. He's just ready for it now and once I get him in, I need help getting him out.
Before Isaiah was born I had lots of thoughts about what we HAD to have. I had no idea, and thought we needed absolutely everything. I was wrong.
1. Wipes Warmer - We didn't get one, and didn't need one.
2. Boppy - I thought this was my number one, must have item. We got one secondhand, and I'm grateful I didn't get it full price. This just wasn't useful for us feeding bottles. It was more of a hassle than just using the pillows we already have.
3. Formula Mixing Pitcher - I mixed the formula and water in the bottle I was going to be using. I hate having extra dishes to wash, so I made it work. I used the pitcher once when I first opened it.
4. Pack N Play - Since I try to keep Isaiah inclined to help his reflux, we don't use this much. The only time we do is if he's taking a nap on his tummy, but he would be able to do that anywhere. It came with a changing table that we used once because when we put the baby on it, it leaned, and since we're first time parents, he peed everywhere and we decided to remove it completely from the frame.
5. Swing - We didn't get one, and I'm glad. Isaiah sat in a swing for the first time at two months and hated it. My MIL bought one for her house and he projectile vomited. Now that I think of it, I haven't seen that swing since.
6. Bottle Warmer - We didn't get one, and didn't need one. Isaiah has always taken his bottles room temperature. When we were using donated breast milk, we heated a cup of water in the microwave and put the milk into that to bring it to room temperature. Not a big deal.
7. Diaper Champ - I used this in the beginning, but it filled up so fast and was a pain to change the bag because it smelled so disgusting. I started walking each diaper to the garbage can we use after every changing and that works just as well. I don't like having the dirty diapers sit in his room either.
8. Baby Detergent - I went for All Free and Clear because I couldn't see myself spending the money on a specialty detergent. His skin is fine, and I'm happy.
9. Baby Bullet - I got one of these and returned it (it was from my mom, so no hard feelings). I was looking at it and realized that it's basically a food processor, and I already have two of those (and I think they both came from her anyway). I've been told though recently that my best bet is to use my immersion blender for purees, so that would be even easier.
10. Graco Snugride Travel System - I wasn't going to get this, but it was given to us as a gift. I loved the infant seat in the winter because I was able to keep him warmer, and if we went in somewhere I had a place for his newbornness to sit while we did what we were doing (eating, shopping, etc.). Now that he's getting to the point of sitting up himself, I'd much rather use the convertible carseat and Jeep stroller that I love. I gave the stroller that goes with this to my mom to keep at her house.
11. Sound Machine - When Isaiah was a newborn I had a water sound app on my phone, but we quickly switched to Blues, and now he doesn't listen to anything when he's going to sleep. He relaxes better with quiet at home, but will still fall asleep if we're in a noisy restaurant.
12. Bumbo - Isaiah's legs are a little too chunky for this, so I rarely use it. He's just ready for it now and once I get him in, I need help getting him out.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Adoption Day!
We have been waiting for our Adoption Day since Isaiah was born. He
was already our son, but we just wanted it to be final and legal.
Unfortunately, our hearing was scheduled right when Isaiah was due for a nap, so he was a little cranky. Being that it’s family court though, they understood and things moved pretty quickly.
We went into the court room with our attorney and it was just us, the magistrate, and the court reporter. We decided months ago that just the three of us were going. Our families were a bit disappointed, but it’s something we wanted to do. Joshua and I had to take an oath that we would raise Isaiah to the best of our abilities, that we would care for him, provide an education for him, and love him (how could we not!?). We each had to answer a series of questions about where we were born and if we followed the specific procedures of the adoption case. And just like that, we were done. It was faster than our wedding ceremony.
Also a small bummer, Isaiah is teething and his spit up has been back in
full force, so I couldn’t get the bib off of him for anything. Even
with it on he managed to get some on his clothes and both of us. As soon
as he went back in his seat he was out.
We had family over to our house for pizza and cake. We’re not huge
celebrators. Every year for our birthdays we have family over and I make
dinner. We enjoy it because we don’t have to go anywhere or wait in a
restaurant with a large group…and it’s cheaper. I was kind of a fail on
an Adoption Day celebration and hadn’t planned ahead because every day
I’ve been super exhausted at the end of the day during my “me” time. The
night before we decided to tell the head of each family coming to bring
a pizza. My mom brought a cake, and even though there was a mistake on
it, it tasted delicious.
Me and Josh were laying in bed that night talking about this occasion, and both decided that life feels remarkably unchanged. Before we got married we had been together so long that we didn't think anything would feel different, yet it did. This though, doesn't feel any different. He's our son just like he always has been, and making it legal hasn't changed that. It is nice to move on though, and not worry about upcoming proceedings. The only thing still pending is his birth certificate. Up until now his legal name has been "Infant Male," and I cannot wait for the Board of Health to send his certificate.
The emotional reaction from me didn't come until the next day. We went to the library to pick up some books I had on hold and when we got to our last name, I almost cried telling Isaiah that it was his last name now too. Then when it was time for me to put him in bed, I didn't want to. I just wanted to hold him forever. I cried because our Decree of Adoption says that we, the petitioners, filed to adopt "Infant Male." I hate that he didn't have a name, and even now that he does, it feels so wrong for a child to not have a name, let alone that name. I cried because on the last page it says that "Isaiah is to be given the same rights as a biological child and heir," because that's what he is. He is our child. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced.
The realization that this ten month journey we've been on is finally over is crazy to think about. We've been on pins and needles most of the time, and now we're a family of three. Forever.
I've also thought a lot about his birth mom since we finalized. I feel sadness for her along with my happiness for us. I often wonder if the bittersweetness of adoption ever goes away.
So now we all have the same last name, and the paperwork to prove it. It took us three years to get to our permanent family, but here we are. We took a completely different path than we expected, but we wouldn't change a thing about it.
What did you do to celebrate Adoption Day? If you don't have an Adoption Day, feel free to celebrate with us!
Unfortunately, our hearing was scheduled right when Isaiah was due for a nap, so he was a little cranky. Being that it’s family court though, they understood and things moved pretty quickly.
Adoption Day Selfie |
We went into the court room with our attorney and it was just us, the magistrate, and the court reporter. We decided months ago that just the three of us were going. Our families were a bit disappointed, but it’s something we wanted to do. Joshua and I had to take an oath that we would raise Isaiah to the best of our abilities, that we would care for him, provide an education for him, and love him (how could we not!?). We each had to answer a series of questions about where we were born and if we followed the specific procedures of the adoption case. And just like that, we were done. It was faster than our wedding ceremony.
With dad before court. |
First time wearing shoes. |
If only cakes had autocorrect |
The emotional reaction from me didn't come until the next day. We went to the library to pick up some books I had on hold and when we got to our last name, I almost cried telling Isaiah that it was his last name now too. Then when it was time for me to put him in bed, I didn't want to. I just wanted to hold him forever. I cried because our Decree of Adoption says that we, the petitioners, filed to adopt "Infant Male." I hate that he didn't have a name, and even now that he does, it feels so wrong for a child to not have a name, let alone that name. I cried because on the last page it says that "Isaiah is to be given the same rights as a biological child and heir," because that's what he is. He is our child. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced.
The realization that this ten month journey we've been on is finally over is crazy to think about. We've been on pins and needles most of the time, and now we're a family of three. Forever.
I've also thought a lot about his birth mom since we finalized. I feel sadness for her along with my happiness for us. I often wonder if the bittersweetness of adoption ever goes away.
So now we all have the same last name, and the paperwork to prove it. It took us three years to get to our permanent family, but here we are. We took a completely different path than we expected, but we wouldn't change a thing about it.
What did you do to celebrate Adoption Day? If you don't have an Adoption Day, feel free to celebrate with us!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Dear Isaiah,
As we get closer and closer to the date when your adoption will be
finalized, I find myself thinking “He’ll finally be a Terry,” but all
this time, you already have been.
You’ve been our son since the day we found out about you, while your birth mom was only four months along. You were ours way before that too, in God’s plan.
I want you to know that in our minds, there was never a moment you weren’t ours. There isn’t a moment that I don’t look at you and realize what an amazing life we have. You are the answer to so many prayers I didn’t even know to say.
When I go into your room before I go to bed, I just stare at you in amazement, and most times I cry. Everything about you is beautiful to me. Watching the amazement on your face as you discover a new skill, or just the look you get when you’re looking at me, is honestly the best feeling I’ve ever felt. Seeing you sleep with your little arms and hands down at your sides makes me feel whole. The sweet noises you make as you fall asleep are the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard. When you laugh, I can’t help but laugh too. And sometimes I cry because you’re crying.
I’m sure you think I’m crazy, and I would have thought the same thing before I became your mom. I would have never made up songs to sing, or sang them as loud as I could for anyone, ever. I would have never gotten spit up on, only to wipe it off, and go on with my day. I would have never gotten excited about buying new wipes. I never knew this kind of love before I knew you.
I never knew that someone without words could tell me they love me. I never knew I could have so much fun with someone who doesn’t talk to me, and sleeps all the time (that part sounds like your dad, doesn’t it?).
When I think of how I felt when we were getting ready for you, I cry for the old me who didn’t know you. I cry for her emptiness, but not because she knew what she was missing, but because she didn’t know what she was missing without you. She had no idea how you would complete her life, and now that I know, I want everyone to know. I want all couples who try and try to have babies of their own to know that everything they’re going through is worth it. Once they get to the end of their journey and they see their very own baby, they’ll know that every second of pain was worth that very first glance. That’s how I felt the moment I saw you and you stuck your big pouty bottom lip out at me. Immediately I knew two things: I didn’t know a thing about being a parent, and that I would do absolutely anything for you.
That is why finalizing your adoption is important to me, but in my mind, it’s already finalized. There is no going back, only forward. Just like it has been from day one.
I love you,
Mama
You’ve been our son since the day we found out about you, while your birth mom was only four months along. You were ours way before that too, in God’s plan.
I want you to know that in our minds, there was never a moment you weren’t ours. There isn’t a moment that I don’t look at you and realize what an amazing life we have. You are the answer to so many prayers I didn’t even know to say.
When I go into your room before I go to bed, I just stare at you in amazement, and most times I cry. Everything about you is beautiful to me. Watching the amazement on your face as you discover a new skill, or just the look you get when you’re looking at me, is honestly the best feeling I’ve ever felt. Seeing you sleep with your little arms and hands down at your sides makes me feel whole. The sweet noises you make as you fall asleep are the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard. When you laugh, I can’t help but laugh too. And sometimes I cry because you’re crying.
I’m sure you think I’m crazy, and I would have thought the same thing before I became your mom. I would have never made up songs to sing, or sang them as loud as I could for anyone, ever. I would have never gotten spit up on, only to wipe it off, and go on with my day. I would have never gotten excited about buying new wipes. I never knew this kind of love before I knew you.
I never knew that someone without words could tell me they love me. I never knew I could have so much fun with someone who doesn’t talk to me, and sleeps all the time (that part sounds like your dad, doesn’t it?).
When I think of how I felt when we were getting ready for you, I cry for the old me who didn’t know you. I cry for her emptiness, but not because she knew what she was missing, but because she didn’t know what she was missing without you. She had no idea how you would complete her life, and now that I know, I want everyone to know. I want all couples who try and try to have babies of their own to know that everything they’re going through is worth it. Once they get to the end of their journey and they see their very own baby, they’ll know that every second of pain was worth that very first glance. That’s how I felt the moment I saw you and you stuck your big pouty bottom lip out at me. Immediately I knew two things: I didn’t know a thing about being a parent, and that I would do absolutely anything for you.
That is why finalizing your adoption is important to me, but in my mind, it’s already finalized. There is no going back, only forward. Just like it has been from day one.
I love you,
Mama
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Teeth
The internet is full of a bunch of flat out liars.
I don't think I'm alone in saying that motherhood comes with warnings. Everyone tells you how horrible the poop smells, and how little sleep you'll get for the next 18 years. You hear how you can't wait for their first word, and then you just want them to be quiet. You hear how they'll cause you the greatest worry in the world.
I feel like all I heard before Isaiah was born was negative aspects about parenting, but no one warned me about teeth.
Isaiah is the happiest, most laid back baby I've ever known in my life. He's fun to be around. He laughs, he smiles, and now he makes kissy noises. But this past week, I don't even know who he is.
My once perfect sleeper now hates taking naps and fights going to sleep.
My once great eater is no longer interested.
My sweet, sweet snuggler no longer wants to cuddle with his mama.
So let me be the first to tell you, if you haven't already heard, teething is no joke.
All of these liars say that teething will not cause your baby to be cranky, have diarrhea, run a fever, or vomit.
They. Lie.
I don't know why anyone thinks that when a tooth comes in, these symptoms all commonly occur at the same time, but they're not caused by the same thing. Obviously, I'm not a doctor, but I'm a mom with a child who has all of the symptoms of an illness not caused by teething. But. He. Is. Not. Ill.
He is cranky. And so am I.
I don't think I'm alone in saying that motherhood comes with warnings. Everyone tells you how horrible the poop smells, and how little sleep you'll get for the next 18 years. You hear how you can't wait for their first word, and then you just want them to be quiet. You hear how they'll cause you the greatest worry in the world.
I feel like all I heard before Isaiah was born was negative aspects about parenting, but no one warned me about teeth.
Isaiah is the happiest, most laid back baby I've ever known in my life. He's fun to be around. He laughs, he smiles, and now he makes kissy noises. But this past week, I don't even know who he is.
My once perfect sleeper now hates taking naps and fights going to sleep.
My once great eater is no longer interested.
My sweet, sweet snuggler no longer wants to cuddle with his mama.
So let me be the first to tell you, if you haven't already heard, teething is no joke.
All of these liars say that teething will not cause your baby to be cranky, have diarrhea, run a fever, or vomit.
They. Lie.
I don't know why anyone thinks that when a tooth comes in, these symptoms all commonly occur at the same time, but they're not caused by the same thing. Obviously, I'm not a doctor, but I'm a mom with a child who has all of the symptoms of an illness not caused by teething. But. He. Is. Not. Ill.
He is cranky. And so am I.
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