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Sunday, August 19, 2012

Timothy Greenlawn

Today I went with my mom, brothers, and their three neighbor kids to see the movie The Odd Life of Timothy Green. For some reason Joshua and I keep calling him Timothy Greenlawn or Timothy Greenhouse. Whatever. It was a very good movie. I cried at the beginning, middle, and end, but I would still say its good.

I hate sad movies and sad stories. I have never read a Jodi Picoult book because I heard they're all sad. I stopped reading Nicholas Sparks because all I did was cry and I couldn't read them in public...or private. I scared the crap out of my dad when I was reading The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks because he came into my room and I was bawling. It was comical.

However, The Curious Case of Timothy Greenjeans isn't like that for me. It was sad, but it was also something I could very much relate to. (Note to self: start a garden). Ok, I can relate to most of it, but not all. I can relate with the sadness of the main characters. I can relate to the longing they shared for a child. I can relate to discussing how awesome their kid would be, and what great parents they would be. I can relate to their venture into adoption.

Trust me, I'm not giving away the movie here.

A few weeks ago Joshua and I learned of a child to be born in less than two months. Immediately as I heard the story of the mother who already has four children and decided she cannot care for another, I knew we had to do something. We weren't prepared, we didn't know what we were doing, but we jumped in head first. Or feet first? Which one means you go all the way really fast? Home run? Whatever. We got started right away. I called an attorney to see what we needed to be doing. I called social services to get the ball rolling. Everything was rushed because the baby is due so soon.

Within days Josh and I were talking about childcare, and balancing everything. We were so overwhelmed because we had always assumed we would have nine months to get used to everything. Nine months to get things around. Suddenly we were faced with getting our house in order for a home study (read: inspection), figuring out how to make a nursery on such short notice, with such low funds (adoption and infertility are the most unjustly priced endeavors I have ever known of in my life. Ever.), and the fact that we could have a baby before Thanksgiving. We were faced with all kinds of uncertainties.

Suddenly, without even knowing it, I fell in love with a baby I had never met, or even knew the sex of. I had all these ideas of how I wanted things to be, how I wanted birth announcements to look, who I wanted to watch our baby (our baby. I would trip up just thinking that.), getting our baby onto our Y membership, and almost every other thing you can imagine. In a little over a week I had all of our ducks in a row. I knew the attorney we were to use. I had all the paperwork from social services. I was getting ready to tell my boss that if everything went well I would be taking a leave of absence. I started pinning adoption links. Picking out clothes. Losing my mind.

And then the birth mom changed her mind.

The hardest part was trying to be happy that she would step up and take responsibility for her own child. It was so hard because I felt like she stole our baby. The baby that was hers all along. I guess I'm still sad about it. I really hope the birth mom will be a good mother to all of her children, but I just know we will be awesome parents. I mean, we're awesome people, how could we not be awesome parents? Seriously.

And now that I've written all of that, I'm not really sure how to end this post. I feel like I'm one of those people who end a sentence with "and..." or "so..." and I hate that, but I really don't know where I'm going with this. There really is no ending to this story, except that we aren't adopting right now. That doesn't mean not ever, just not as soon as we once thought.


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Sunday, August 5, 2012

Huffy, Huffy

That kind of sounds like a nail polish name (essie, I'm looking at you), but this is totally not a post about my nails at all. Except for the fact that they're completely wrecked right now.

This is actually going to be a post with words in it. Nice change of pace, right?

In other news, my neighbor keeps walking through our yard, back and front yard, and it is starting to make me mad. They came over TWICE yesterday before 10:00am to ask if they could borrow stuff. Gosh. Go away. I bring this up because I just saw him walk through the back yard. If I had more money I'd put up a fence. Three years ago.

Back to my intended post. 

I have not ever in my whole entire life been a fan of cardio. I am not naturally good at it. If I want to be good I have to work really hard at it. Which isn't a bad thing, it is probably a good thing, but it just kind of sucks, you know? It is fun to just be good at stuff. Like laying around and reading. I'm SO GOOD at that. Seriously.

So Ingrid and I started running last fall and I almost died. I had hip issues that sat me out for a few weeks, but I really got into it and had fun, especially when I met goals. We ran outside all winter and it was wonderful. There is no overheating or any of that crap when the temp is hovering around 32°. We had an exceptionally short winter though, and it was cut even shorter by Ingrid's heroic save.

I never have as much fun when I try to run by myself. I can do it, but most of the time I bargain with myself about how much longer until I can turn around. Seriously. And I hate running on treadmills and indoor tracks. They are incredibly boring and I always count the minutes. Outside running is so much more fun, but for some reason summer started in April this year.

Anyhow, I asked my mom a few weeks ago if I could buy her bike from her. I only live a few miles from the Y I work out at, so I figured on the weekends I could ride my bike there, lift, and then ride home so I didn't have to do additional cardio.

She told me I could borrow hers until I got my own. So I got it last week and rode it last Sunday to the Y. When I got there I thought for sure I was dead. It was so much harder than any running I've ever done. Even the very first run. It was horrible. My butt hurt, my legs hurt, my lungs, and well, you get it. Everything hurt. I was super hot and sweaty, and definitely did not think I was going to make it home. I sat outside for a while trying to decide what I was going to do, and eventually decided I was going to go inside and get a drink. That turned into me laying on my back in the stretching area for twenty minutes before I decided it was time to go home. I was still debating on calling my parents to ask for a ride, but sucked it up, got back on the bike and rode home.

Then last night I got my own bike. I found it online a few weeks ago and then found it in the store last night.

Let us discuss.

I do not have a big butt. I will not lie. I'm top heavy and apple shaped. So I've got very minimal butt padding, and I'm convinced that the whole reason last week's ride was so bad is because of the seat. (No offense mom, and thanks for letting me use it!) Mom's bike is the black seat and mine is the white seat. Much cushier.   

 The handle bars are much higher. I hate leaning over. I can sit upright on this one.
I know that mom's bike has gears and hand brakes, whereas mine does not. However, I rode it today and had a much more enjoyable experience. It was still hard, but I was much more comfortable.
And like a wise woman said last night "This ain't the Tour de France". That's fo sho.

If you like my bike you can check it out here. I can't find a link for my mom's bike. Sorry.

Do you ride a bike?
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Friday, August 3, 2012

Bachelorette Bash

These nail color names are getting confusing. This is not a post about my bachelorette party (especially since I didn't have one. By choice.). It is my Nail Polish Pick OTW.

Bachelorette Bash by essie.

I got this color for Ingrid as part of her graduation gift and once I saw it on her nails I had to have it. I was going to buy it at Walmart the other day but went into a hormone induced rage and told the cashier I didn't want it after she wouldn't accept my coupon. Whatever.

I found it on Amazon for super cheap.

I also decided to order Ballet Slippers by essie because it is my favorite color of all time. Seriously. I have already used an entire bottle of it. It is the only color I've ever used a bottle of.

So imagine my delight and surprise when I got home yesterday and through some glitch of fate, my order was filled twice! YES!
 Another look at Bachelorette Bash.
What color are you wearing this week?
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