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Sunday, January 29, 2012

This Is Why I Squat

You should read that title like the song This Is Why I'm Hot. You know, I'm fly cause you not.

Anyhow. Yesterday after I posted about our glute workout, Joshua asked "do you ever feel like you're completely wasting your time with workouts like this?"

You may have read that as a sincere question. However, he said in the tone of: "Why did you do this? It's a waste of time." I'm sorry babe, but you did.

So in honor of my glute day hating husband, here are the three exercises that are the end all be all of weight lifting. These three exercises are all you'll ever need.

In all non-sarcastic-honesty, these three are good for beginner lifters. I did a workout solely of these three exercises for quite a while. I did five sets of five of all three at about 80-85%. That may not sound like much, but once you get going, you get a good workout in. It is exhausting. If you do it right.

Without further adieu, here are the only three exercises you will ever ever ever need.

The squat.
There are different forms of squatting, but I prefer the back squat. I find the front squat extremely uncomfortable.
 This is pretty self explanatory. Babies can do the proper squat form. Not many adults can.

The bench.
Again, there are different types of bench. Incline, decline, flat. I prefer flat. Bench is not a strength of mine. I just really learned how to do it about a year ago when Joshua started working with me on it.


The deadlift.
This one is pretty cut and dry. You pick it up, you put it down.

These are our happy faces.
This is Joshua. He wants you to know this was years ago, and he lifts more than this now. He also enjoys long walks on the beach and puppies. Occasionally rainbows.

So there you have it. All you'll ever need. You're welcome.

What are your go-to exercises?

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Saturday, January 28, 2012

Power Girl

That title means something different to you than it does to my husband. It makes him think of Superman's extremely busty cousin, but it makes me think of lifting weights.

Even though I seemingly only speak of running lately, I'm still lifting. While it isn't the powerlifting I did early last year, I'm still pushing it pretty heavy, in my opinion.

I typically do my lifting days as follows:
Day 1: Quads/Hamstrings
Day 2: Chest/triceps
Day 3: Back/biceps
Day 4: Shoulders/Calves/Abs

Today however, we did a glute day, which is not our typical pumping iron type day. For those of you who work out at home, you could do this one in your living room. You remember my last post about glutes, right? Speaking of getting hurt, I wrote a post a few weeks ago about something that happened to Ingrid yesterday. All you people who laughed...you're next.

Today Ingrid had a page she ripped out of a magazine for glutes, so we did it. One thing about us is that we don't care how stupid we look in the gym (which is good, because we often look like idiots). For example:

"Carving Curl"
  •  Lie facedown on floor with head on folded arms, squeezing a 1-pound dumbbell or rolled-up towel behind bent left knee, foot flexed. Tuck pelvis to flatten out low back.
  • Lift bent left leg a few inches off floor; lower. Do 20 reps.
  • Switch sides, repeat.
This one isn't too bad. It is one of those things though where after you do a few you feel like you're going to cramp up.

"Bend & Extend"
  • Stand in front of chair, bend over and place left hand on seat, right forearm atop chair back; tuck pelvis and extend left leg behind you, foot flexed.
  • Pulse left leg 10 times (lift and lower by 1 inch).
  • Keeping left leg lifted, bend knee and then extend 10 times; then trace 5 clockwise and 5 counterclockwise circles with leg.
  • Hold leg lift for 5 counts. Switch sides; repeat.
Awkward, but whatever.

"Swaying Bridge"
  • Lie faceup on floor with knees bent, feet flexed with heels on floor and arms by sides; step heels out so legs are slightly wider than shoulder-width.
  • Lift hips so body forms a line from rib cage to knees (bra line stays on floor). Lower. Do 10 reps.
  • With hips lifted, sway hips from left to right as you squeeze glutes. Do 20 reps, alternating sides.
  • With hips lifted, do 20 pulses.
When we did this one we were glad Josh wasn't around to make fun of us. It wasn't pretty.

"Slimming Swirl"

  • Stand with heels together, toes out, holding chair back with right hand. Lift heels (still touching) off floor; bend knees 90 degrees out to sides.
  • Maintaining pliĆ©, tuck pelvis as you squeeze glutes and then arch your back slightly. Do 10 reps.
  • Draw 10 clockwise circles with hips, squeezing glutes to tuck position at 12 o'clock. Do 10 counterclockwise circles; finish with 10 more tucks.
This one was really awkward. Especially since everyone decided to crowd us at this very moment.

"Cross Your Legs"
  • Start on floor on all fours.
  • Lift bent left knee to hip level so that it's pointing slightly out to side as hips stay even. (Tuck pelvis under so that your back is not overextended.) Do 20 pulses, lifting and lowering left leg 1 inch.
  • Next, cross left knee behind right knee and then lift if out to left side at hip level. Do 10 reps.
  • Do 20 pulses, foot flexed. Switch sides; repeat.
I can only imagine how pretty this was. By this point I stopped even looking in the mirror in fear of what I'd see.

"Door Hinge"
  • Standing, bend at hips to rest right forearm on chair back, and squeeze a rolled-up towel behind left knee, foot flexed; place left hand on hip
  • Tuck pelvis, lift left knee out to side; bring knee in toward chest and then behind you. Do 10 reps.
  • With knee behind you, do 20 press-back pulses: Bring left leg toward right 1 inch, then back again. Switch sides; repeat.
Here is about where it got really funny. Instead of being called the door hinge, it should be called the dog peeing on a hydrant. 

  • Lie on right side and bend knees 45 degrees so they are in front of you; lift feet 12 inches off floor.
  • With heels together, raise left knee so it points up (clamshell position); lower knee. Do 10 reps.
  • Return to clamshell; keeping left knee raised, extend and then bend left leg 20 times. Return to clamshell, do 10 pulses (lift and lower left knee by 1 inch). Switch sides; repeat.
This is where all dignity is lost. If you're laying on the floor at the gym doing anything called a "clamshell" you're done. Self respect is gone. 

"Second Position Pulse"
  • Stand with feet wide, toes turned out, left hand holding chair back for support, right hand on hip.
  • Bend knees 90 degrees out to sides and, maintaining squat, open legs wider by pressing knees back 1 inch; then bring them back. Do 10 presses.
  • Lift toes off floor in squat position; do 10 more presses.
  • Finish with 10 presses on toes with heels lifted.
This was hard. Felt a lot of burn here. Much less humiliating by the way.

"Fly Trap"
  • Stand with right hand on chair back for support.
  • Hinge forward at hips, lifting left arm in front of you and left leg behind you (body parallel to floor).
  • Side bend to left at waist, bringing left elbow to left hip and bending left knee. Extend. Do 10 reps.
  • From elbow-to-hip curl position, do 20 pulses, lifting and lowering bent left leg by 1 inch. Hold final rep for 5 counts. Switch sides; repeat.
I have a feeling we did this one wrong.

Source for all photos and workout descriptions.

We also did 45 mins of wogging on the treadmill. My goal jar is getting lots of dollars in it.

Do you purposely do a glute day?

Monday, January 23, 2012


Yesterday I was grocery shopping for the food for Joshua's birthday dinner. While in the soup aisle I ran into a girl I used to work with. We hadn't seen each other for four or so years because she left for a new job before I did. We caught up a little, you know, those typical are you still married? questions.

I consistently get asked "any kids?". Right after the marriage question.

When she asked the kids question, I decided to just say "We don't have any yet. We want them, but getting pregnant isn't as easy as I hoped it would be."

That is an awkward situation. I'm clear on that. People don't really know what to say. Typically, they always say (as she did),  "I have a few friends who went through the same thing, and as soon as they relaxed they got pregnant."

Yes, yes. Allow me to relax.

But first, let me clear my mind.

This is an example of some of the thoughts going through my head at any given time.

  • Did I take my pill last night?
  • Did I make that appointment?
  • What if my period doesn't start?
  • What if my period doesn't stop?
  • What is that noise coming from the sink?
  • Is my curling iron still on?
  • Where is my phone?
  • Why won't my engine light turn off?
  • What if I can't get pregnant?
  • What do I want for dinner tonight?
  • Do we have any cake?
  • Should we vaccinate our children?
  • Are the dog's shots up to date?
  • What if I can't meet my running goal?
  • Can we afford to have a baby?
  • What if the jacket I want goes out of stock?
  • What is today?
  • Are my fingers crooked?
  • Will we be able to have Amico inside when we have a baby?
  • Will we ever have a baby?
That is ten seconds worth.

Relaxing though? What is that?

Here is something I've not shared here before: When I was five, my sister died after having an allergic reaction to a vaccination.

How in the world can I not think about that when I'm thinking about our own future children?

I don't have many bible verses memorized, and I don't even have this one memorized, but I always think of it when I start to worry (see above list).

Matthew 6:27
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Well, this post has been basically just a choppy mess of random thoughts. What I'm getting at is that I'm anxiously back in the waiting game to see what will happen.

As I prepare for my next cycle of Clomid, I'm going to try to relax (pshhhh), and remind myself of the above verse. I'll just keep breathing and hopefully some day I'll be able to answer the kids question differently.

Do you have to make an effort to relax? Tips?

Thursday, January 19, 2012

IKEA For Dinner

I will be the first person to tell you that I hate comfort food. Believe it.

I can't stand beef and noodles, chicken and noodles, pot pies, pot roast, or anything covered in gravy. It isn't a health thing either, I'm just not a fan of big heavy meals.

When Ingrid and I went to IKEA last month I was past hungry, into shaky territory and decided (without really thinking) to go with the Swedish Meatballs meal. And it was amazing. This is the actual photo of my meal.
On Tuesday I got really hungry for it again. It is so odd because never in my life have I ever wanted a meal like this. I'd eat it if it were around, but would never go out of my way to make it.

Josh didn't want it on Tuesday, I didn't want to go to the store on Wednesday, so we had it tonight.

I got to use my gravy boat for the first time ever. Hopefully not the last.
I picked up this jar of lingonberry preserves while we were at IKEA. Next time I have to buy more than this one little jar. Josh likes it on his toast.
Gravy, lingonberry preserves, and mashed potatoes.
Josh's plate.
Only real difference is that my gravy wasn't as thick as IKEA's gravy, but this meal was still delicious.
Now, get ready to flip out all you Foodies. I used frozen meatballs, packaged mashed potatoes, and powdered gravy. This meal took 18 minutes to make, and would have taken less if I had made the meatballs in the microwave. We're talking 10 minutes start to finish people.

I'm a firm believer that the amount of time you spend on a meal does not dictate the deliciousness of said meal. If you can make a fantastic meal in less than 20 minutes, who cares?

I'm like that Semi-Homemade lady, but didn't get drunk while I was cooking.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Do you set goals for yourself and then reward yourself for meeting them?

I did this once before. In 2007/2008 when I lost weight, I told myself that every ten pounds I lost I would buy myself a new piece of workout apparel. The first ten pounds I lost I got a fleece warm up outfit, and the next ten pounds I think I got sports bra. The reward system worked soooo well that I forgot about it and then didn't buy myself anything for the next ten pounds. It was really exciting and motivating at first though, and then my health and the way I looked became more of a reward than buying things.

I was looking around on Pinterest and saw a few pieces of Lululemon clothing that I thought would be awesome for outside running.

I went on Lululemon and quickly realized that I can't afford even their hair ties. Pretty outrageous.

I was thinking about how to justify spending money like that on a piece of outerwear, and I think I came up with a reasonable goal.

I don't know if this item will even be available by the time I complete my goal, but if it is I want to get this:

My goal is to run for thirty minutes without stopping. The most I've done so far is thirteen minutes, and that was a near death experience.

I decided that was a tough enough goal that I could justify spending the $108.00 on this jacket (or one similar). Chances are I won't be able to wear it this year, but I'll have it for outdoor winter running next year.

I also saw this idea via Pinterest today.
That looks like a great way to save up $108 dollars. Get ready for 108 more workouts, Ingrid.

How do you reward yourself?

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Are These Dark Circles Forever?

The other day I noticed that in the mirror I'm noticing dark circles under my eyes more often. This made me wonder if a) I'm sick b) I'm pale c) I'm getting older. I'm going to go ahead and believe b and c. I'm not so sure about a, but I think its unlikely.

I started looking at old photos of me. I mean like almost ten years ago. If I could find a 2002 photo I would have ten years worth.

So here is my own sample of age progression photos. 

Allison and I at our Junior Prom - 2003. Also known as the year I worked at the tanning bed, so I resembled a real Mexican.
 Senior year - 2004
 End of 2004 - Freshman year at USF
 Vacation in 2005
 Meg's 21st birthday - 2006
 Mom & Dad's 25th Anniversary Party - 2007

Pacers Game - 2008

 Rehearsal Dinner - 2009
 USF Graduation - 2009
 Sarah's Wedding - 2010
 Dad's Birthday party 2011
 I was really surprised by this. It is crazy to see photos of myself side by side like this.
Even if you can't really tell a difference in some of those photos, you have to admit there is a huge difference between 2007 and 2008.

In other news, Ingrid, Joey and I went to Chipotle today and had the worst service ever. I mean, the service was so bad that the food tasted awful. It is saying a lot that I didn't think the food was fantastic because I talked about how fabulous it was going to be for a good portion of our run. The other portion of our run was spent telling Ingrid how I was pissed off at her, and that before I knew her I didn't believe it was possible to love and hate someone at the same time. She is so bossy. Seriously though, my food was made with the tears of puppies and angels. Tears taste bitter. Much like the employee running the front at Chipotle who FORGOT MY SOUR CREAM. I can't eat Mexican food without sour cream. Who forgets that? Its a main option on their menu. No bueno.

Have your looks changed a lot in the past ten years?

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Fall

This morning I said this:
Then Ingrid said this:
 And then I said:
And then Ingrid said:
Sooo we ran outside. Because she totally told me we were.

It is COLD here. Cold cold.
And I was mad mad.
Thats my fierce face. And apparently my "go to" sweatshirt. I am constantly photographed in it.

If you're in the Midwest, you know what I'm talking about when I say we had some snow a few days ago. It so looks like this now in Indiana.
 Well...maybe in some parts, but definitely not here. This looks more like what we ran in today.
When it snows, there is ice. Hand in hand. Thunder and lightning, snow and ice.
It has become apparent to me though, that I am in need of one of these. (Why is that falling person using jazz hands?)
We were wrapping up our run, and I began to look like a mixture of these photos.


 But mostly, this was me.
 Ingrid was kind enough to suggest a chalk outline.
Before I even knew what was happening, I was laying on my back, staring at the sky wondering how in the world I got there. It happened so fast. To Ingrid's credit, she didn't laugh nearly as much as I would have.

I don't know if you remember or not, but I got hurt one other time at the gym. I was walking. I almost died. Exercise is soooo dangerous.

Anyway, somehow we still got 55 minutes worth of outdoor wogging (walking/jogging) done today. I didn't feel the greatest while we were going, but whatever. I think it was just one of those days.

Have you ever fallen while running? Or exercising of any kind? Tell me your funny stories.


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