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Saturday, March 9, 2013

My New Role

For so long I've been the person who longingly looks on at glowing mothers and their beautiful babies. I have always wanted to be the one pushing the cart that had the baby staring out of its carseat at their mama. I've wanted to be the one who talked to the baby in the backseat of the car. I've wanted to be the one carrying the baby in the wrap papoose thing.

And now I am.

I truly have everything I've ever wanted, and it is just as wonderful as I always imagined it being (I'm only a few weeks in, so give me some time).

But as I've said before, I haven't forgotten about infertility.

In the short time since Isaiah has been born, infertility has been on my mind more than ever it seems. I feel infinitely more sensitive to other infertile women, because now, I have the appearance of a fertile woman. I look like someone who won.

And to be honest, I did win. It's a mixed emotional feeling I've been having. I will never be anything but happy about Isaiah, but I don't want infertile women to look at me and feel the way I did looking at other women with children. While I want to be sensitive to that, I will not shout from rooftops that Isaiah is adopted. I talk about it here, but in public I don't. Isaiah isn't my adopted son, he is my son.

Josh asked me a few days ago if I had ever considered doing anything with our experiences. I have lots of ideas in my head of what I might do down the road, but Josh got me thinking about what I can do now. Most infertility support comes from the internet, and it isn't always positive. I'm tossing around the idea of a peer-led support group. I've tried to find one in the Fort Wayne area and can't come up with anything.

So I'm asking you for ideas. What can you come up with as a way for me to reach out to other women facing infertility, in a positive and encouraging way?

Also, if you're interested (or know someone who is) and you're not in the Fort Wayne area, we can use Google Hangouts to video meet (we use it in the book club that I'm loosely a member of these days). 

I want to thank you in advance for anything you offer, and thank you all so much for being so supportive to me and my small family. We appreciate all of it.

Big yawn.


  1. I think it would be a great idea getting together with others. I think that it would be nice for everyone, and just not women but the men too, to discuss the hopes and fears of infertility. I have a good friend that is just starting the pills to hopefully become pregnant. She also has PCO. She is very worried that it won't work. I've been talking to her about your blog. She finds it comforting that she isn't the only one going through this. I know that it can feel like it, especially, when both of her sisters didn't have any problem and one only has one working ovary. I think that she would love to be able to talk to someone who understands what she is going through. I also think she would like it if there were other husbands there to help each other out. I know that her husband doesn't really understand what she is going through. You might want to talk to your OB or get a hold of someone at Dupont about getting a group together. I know that Dupont has a lot of great classes. Just an idea.

    1. Heidi,
      Thank you so much for telling your friend about my blog. Please tell her to feel free to contact me if she wants to talk or has any questions at all. I have be tossing back and forth whether I should try for an all women's group or go with a couples group. I think men may be more reluctant to go, so perhaps a women's group with specific couples meetings? Husbands do have a hard time with the emotional ups and downs, and depending on what medicine she is going to be taking, hers might not know what hit him (besides her). You're an excellent friend and I hope she knows that. Having someone to talk to is the best thing ever.

      I think I will check with DuPont. We also used a fertility clinic for a while, so I may see if they can help.

      I really appreciate your thoughts!

  2. Thats right and to him you are his mother... I am not fertility issues but I am moved by this story and I have always thought we should take care of all the children out there without homes before we have more, also adopting can be for anyone. So happy for you, thanks for sharing!



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