Learn More About Me

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

11,002 Things to be Miserable About

I have a super supportive husband. Sometimes he can be pretty funny too.

I have these days (I'm going to pretend that you all do too so I don't feel quite so lame) where everything is life threatening and I'm just going to die from it all.

Six months before our wedding I was reading Women's Health magazine and it was one of those "Ten Signs You're Going To Drop Dead Before You Finish Reading This Article" articles. Let me take you back a bit. I have a mole in my left big toenail. When I say that it gives me a horrible mental image of a wicked witch with nose warts. It is nothing like that I swear. It simply is a brownish tan line that runs from the cuticle to the tip of the nail. I would so show you, but the nail is painted. Maybe some other time. Anyway, I've had it as long as I can remember. Maybe my entire life. I don't know. So Women's Health tells me that I'm going to die an early and horrific death at 22 years old.

I have no problem admitting this: I irrationally panicked. Anyone who would read something like that should be concerned, but I honestly thought that I needed to go to the emergency room to have it checked out before I died.

My mom talked me (temporarily) off the ledge, and I made an appointment with my doctor immediately.

After my doctor assured me that I, in fact, was not dying, and truly had nothing to worry about if I kept an eye on it for any changes, I talked to him about the anxiety. He seemed to feel like it was being caused from the birth control (like I really needed that) I was on at the time. He told me to talk with my OB/GYN about it and sent me on my way.

At my next annual appointment, I talked to my OB/GYN about it. Being the hateful woman that she is, she told me that I wasn't experiencing anxiety levels above normal, and that I should try some assortment of vitamins. So anyway, apparently I'm normal. Whatev.

Thankfully, I haven't had any other moments even close to the Great Mole Tragedy of 2008, but often in times of high stress I get a bit irrational and panicky.

Now back to Joshua. With all of the stress from our adoption, Joshua getting a new job, and our debts, my panic meter is back up there. Being the wonderful and supportive husband he is, he bought me this.

 It is a book full of reasons to be miserable. I won't lie, some of them made me laugh so hard that I didn't feel so bad anymore.

For example:
  • Leaving your cell phone at home
  • People who invent words in order to make song lyrics rhyme
  • Electrical outlets that don't work
  • The cabbage soup diet
  • Anti-acne products that dry out your skin, and still leave you with acne
  • Movies about hookers with hearts of gold
  • YouTube videos of people playing video games
  • Out-of-season fruit
  • Realizing your enemies have redeeming qualities
  • Sixteen year olds with expensive cars
  • Having to swipe your own credit card at the grocery store
  • Diabetic cats
And so many more.

This is how Joshua solved my anxiety for me. Isn't he grand?

Pin It


  1. That book sounds hilarious! I'm going to have to find it. I also had a moment in life where I was a hypochondriac. I was about 10. So you're not alone.

  2. That is awesome and my husband could seriously use it! He is the worst like this year he has gone to the doctor like five times for random stuff including a foot doctor, a physical therapist, a lung x ray. Yep that is right my husband who lives in Sweden with like perfect air and water was convinced he had some horrible disease that he convinced the doctor to do a lung x ray!!! So freaking silly!!!!!!!



Related Posts with Thumbnails