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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Our Backstory

I haven't told you much about the actual process we're going through yet. We are still in progress but I decided to give you more details as we go along.

A bit of back story first. Joshua and I attempted to adopt this summer. We were at his mom's house and she was telling a story about someone she works with. The lady she works with was asked by the birth mom to adopt her grandson. She was telling my mother in law that she just didn't think she could raise another child, as hers are all grown. My mother in law was telling us this story because she said she would love to say that she would take the baby. Joshua wasn't really listening to the story, but I was soaking in every detail.

As soon as we got to the car I asked him if he would be interested in getting more information about that baby, and if he would want to adopt. He agreed and we decided to pursue the adoption. I contacted our attorney and social services. I had the paperwork sent to us that we needed to get our home study (background check, interviews, home tour, and more) started. After some consideration, the birth mom changed her mind. She has every right to do that.

As hard as I tried to be happy for her, and praise God that she stepped up to take responsibility, it was incredibly hard. I prayed a lot for her and the baby, through a lot of my own tears. I healed though. And I grew closer to God. I started listening to my gut more. I started to pray more. I went back to my infertility treatments and I decided to let go.

I wasn't looking to adopt. I knew it would always be an option for us, because adoption has such a dear place in my heart, but I was still guarded from our first attempt.

One night we were over at Joshua's mom's house again (our dogs live there, so we have to go over every day to feed them. That is why we're always there) and she mentioned that she might know of another adoption opportunity and that she would let us know if it was serious. Josh and I agreed to not speak at all about adoption until after he took his exam to be licensed as a PTA. It was a very stressful few months for him, and I absolutely didn't want to add to it, so I agreed. No baby talk until after the test.

Joshua has a guys night if you will, every Monday and I had just gotten home from the gym when I got a text from his mother. She had spoken to the birth mom on the phone and the whole situation sounded very promising, and serious. This was exactly one week before Josh's test. I decided that I had to keep this to myself. I couldn't tell him about it at all until the stress from his test was over.

I made it 15 hours.

I sent him that text and then spilled the entire story to him.

The story is that our birth mom heard about us from the grandma of our first adoption attempt. Our birth mom confided in the lady my mother in law works with that she was pregnant and had made the decision to place the child in a loving home. The woman my mother in law works with then told her about us, but not to contact us unless she was sure that she wasn't going to change her mind. Our birth mom said she was sure, and here we are.

Had we not put ourselves out there the first time, our birth mom wouldn't even know of us. If we hadn't gone through that, we wouldn't be where we are now, or where we are going. It is solid evidence to me that we have no idea of the plans He has for us. All we get to do is sit back and wait. I'm content to do that now.

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  1. Wow. This is incredible Angela. I am so happy for you guys!!

  2. I swear I need to get kleenex now before I read your posts because they are so touching!
    I think that people like to keep everything to themselves and do not want to open up to loved ones or strangers and this is an amazing story of how when you let yourself be open wonderful things can come to fruition for everyone involved.

    Ok and what is a PTA I tried to google it and only got stuff about Parent Teacher Associations and that cannot be right!

    1. Haha Bailie! PTA is Physical Therapist Assistant.

      Thank you for your kind comment :)

  3. What an incredible story. My sister-in-law adopted her beautiful daughter, and the process was so long and emotional, with the birth mother changing her mind multiple times. But at the end, we got an amazing new family member, and it was worth all the stress and heartache along the way. I pray you have a much less stressful adoption process. Looking forward to reading more about it!

  4. Thank you so much, Audrey! I love hearing positive adoption stories, so thank you for sharing!!

  5. Luck is a combination of hard work and timing, right? Sounds like you've definitely put in the work!!! My fingers are crossed for you (well, only one hand--don't want to cancel anything out)!!

  6. Wow, this is so amazing and obviously meant to be!!! Everything happens for a reason!



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