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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Treadmill Twins

Before I start, I have to say that I am not speaking for anyone besides myself. Lots of women with infertility feel differently from one another. I am not speaking for them. Just me.

The other day I was running at the gym. When I'm alone I usually run on a treadmill, mainly because Ingrid is the more responsible of the two of us and she keeps track of time, distance, arm bands, and other necessary things and I just kind of run and talk and think. She has parenting experience. So when I'm alone I always forget my arm band, and even if I do have my arm band, I can't seem to keep track of my time or distance because my mind wanders. So anyway, I was on the treadmill.

Our gym is under construction right now (I am SO ANGRY about it) so the machines are all over the place. I got a treadmill that is in a group of three, and I was on the end. Next to me were two pregnant women about my age. One was visibly pregnant and the other was very early on in hers. I only knew she was pregnant because they were talking about it.

Here is where I'm supposed to say "I couldn't help by overhear", but I was totes listening. No shame.

I had this terrible flash of anger when I heard them start talking about their friend who had been trying to get pregnant for two years and couldn't. They were talking very negatively about her and the fact that they didn't know what to say or how to say it, or when. I got so mad that I put my ear buds in and turned the music up loud.

I stewed about it for a while. Sent Ingrid a message telling her about them, in which she told me I needed to call them out. I decided that I wasn't going to say anything. I don't know them, and they probably wouldn't even care about my opinion.

So as I ran, I got more mad. I mean, really.

Finally, I decided I just couldn't not say anything.

I took my ear buds out and started with "I hope you don't think I'm rude, but I overheard you talking about your friend who is having problems getting pregnant.." and went from there.

A huge pet peeve of mine is when someone who is pregnant tells you like it is the worst news in the world. While it does hurt, that is purely my own selfishness. Truly, the thing I'm most grateful for are those people who aren't hesitant to tell me they're pregnant, and those who treat me just like a regular person. I hate the sympathy that comes with someone knowing you can't conceive. I am a big girl and I can handle things. I might cry, but that is life. Life goes on, whether I conceive or not.

So I told the Treadmill Twins to realize that what their friend is going through is extremely hard for her, but it will be better in the long run if they tell her now instead of waiting. They were very understanding, but I'm sure they had a few choice words for me once they were out of my earshot. One girl even told me that her sister in law adopted.

So yeah. I guess the moral of this story is, talk to random people, tell them they're wrong, and then be happy.

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  1. You are awesome for putting those girls in their place. I wish more people did this.

  2. Before I get to my real comment- you need to get pedometer app. All you do is hit start and it tracks your time, pace, distance, calories. It isn't 100% accurate, but pretty close.

    Now, I am so impressed that you talked to those to girls. I would have gotten mad, left and then probably cried in my car. I'm not good with confrontation (not that it was confrontational). But I am so proud of you!!

    1. Do I need GPS with a pedometer app? I have a few different apps but can't use them in the gym because I can't get a GPS signal.

      Thanks! My grandma is really spunky and taught me/gave me this attitude. :)



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