11,002 Things to be Miserable About

I have a super supportive husband. Sometimes he can be pretty funny too.

I have these days (I'm going to pretend that you all do too so I don't feel quite so lame) where everything is life threatening and I'm just going to die from it all.

Six months before our wedding I was reading Women's Health magazine and it was one of those "Ten Signs You're Going To Drop Dead Before You Finish Reading This Article" articles. Let me take you back a bit. I have a mole in my left big toenail. When I say that it gives me a horrible mental image of a wicked witch with nose warts. It is nothing like that I swear. It simply is a brownish tan line that runs from the cuticle to the tip of the nail. I would so show you, but the nail is painted. Maybe some other time. Anyway, I've had it as long as I can remember. Maybe my entire life. I don't know. So Women's Health tells me that I'm going to die an early and horrific death at 22 years old.

I have no problem admitting this: I irrationally panicked. Anyone who would read something like that should be concerned, but I honestly thought that I needed to go to the emergency room to have it checked out before I died.

My mom talked me (temporarily) off the ledge, and I made an appointment with my doctor immediately.

After my doctor assured me that I, in fact, was not dying, and truly had nothing to worry about if I kept an eye on it for any changes, I talked to him about the anxiety. He seemed to feel like it was being caused from the birth control (like I really needed that) I was on at the time. He told me to talk with my OB/GYN about it and sent me on my way.

At my next annual appointment, I talked to my OB/GYN about it. Being the hateful woman that she is, she told me that I wasn't experiencing anxiety levels above normal, and that I should try some assortment of vitamins. So anyway, apparently I'm normal. Whatev.

Thankfully, I haven't had any other moments even close to the Great Mole Tragedy of 2008, but often in times of high stress I get a bit irrational and panicky.

Now back to Joshua. With all of the stress from our adoption, Joshua getting a new job, and our debts, my panic meter is back up there. Being the wonderful and supportive husband he is, he bought me this.

Source

 It is a book full of reasons to be miserable. I won't lie, some of them made me laugh so hard that I didn't feel so bad anymore.

For example:

• Leaving your cell phone at home
• People who invent words in order to make song lyrics rhyme
• Electrical outlets that don't work
• The cabbage soup diet
• Anti-acne products that dry out your skin, and still leave you with acne
• Movies about hookers with hearts of gold
• YouTube videos of people playing video games
• Out-of-season fruit
• Realizing your enemies have redeeming qualities
• Sixteen year olds with expensive cars
• Having to swipe your own credit card at the grocery store
• Diabetic cats

And so many more.

This is how Joshua solved my anxiety for me. Isn't he grand?

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