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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

What A Year

I really do not like all the lists that come out at the end of the year. Josh has gotten two entire magazines of lists, and it gets pretty redundant. That being said, this time of year it is basically impossible for me to not reflect on my life this past year. I don't even know where to begin.

Exactly one year ago we got engaged. Wow. A whole year has passed. My first reaction is that not much has changed, but so much has when I start to think about it. I feel like Josh and I have gotten closer than ever this year, it actually feels like a totally different relationship, for the better of course. The thing is, I feel like the changes I've made to myself have made our relationship better, and stronger.

We bought a house. Holy crap. I never thought that one was going to happen. After the whole mess we went through to actually get the house, it's surprising that it's actually ours. We're just getting settled in now, and it's taking some time to adjust to my new surroundings. Of course, I had already been in this house a lot before we bought it, but now it's ours, and really doesn't look anything like what it used to. It's getting easier to look at it like my own, and not a home I'm a guest in, I'm still having a hard time though. It doesn't really feel like Christmas, and I think that might be because I'm not living with my parents anymore. It's an adjustment for all of us. William is currently not speaking to me because I don't sleep in his house anymore. It makes me feel terrible.

I lost 40 lbs. Holy crap. Last year, on December 26 when I decided I was going to really make changes, Josh and I had a conversation about how to do it. He told me that to lose weight safely and keep it off I should aim for one pound per week. At first that seemed ridiculous. Four pounds in a month seemed hardly worth it, but then when I started to think about it, 52 pounds in a year is nothing to turn your nose up at! Obviously I didn't make 52 lbs this year, but even losing 40lbs has changed my life in ways I never thought possible. The real reason I started working out seriously is because we got engaged and I decided I would not walk down the aisle looking the way I did. But then, my Nanny had a massive heart attack and very serious heart surgery. I'll never know for sure, but I'm thinking that is the real reason why I kept up on my health. I'm sure I would have given up, but it made me realize how important health is, and it made me change my entire lifestyle. If my Nanny got a second chance at life, I thought I might as well start improving mine now. I never realized how badly I was out of shape until I got back into shape. The physical changes were almost as remarkable as my personality changes. My way of thinking is completely different. I used to have a serious jealousy issue, but now that I actually have self-confidence I rarely get jealous anymore (I'm not saying never). I feel like I've really turned into a better person. I don't want to think of 2008 as the year that changed my life, but I think of 2008 as the year I changed my life.

However, I am still a procrastinator, so I'm off to wrap presents :). I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!

P.S. I had quite a weekend, and I want to post about it, but I'm afraid we're not quite out of the woods yet, so I'm going to wait. I don't want to jinx myself, and trust me, it would not be good if things went back to the way they were this weekend. It was a mess.

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