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Friday, May 2, 2008


I have some amazing friends. It's true. Be jealous.

I also have those friends who aren't technically your best friends, not really even close friends, but those hanger-on friends. Like you used to be close but then something happened (or even just time passed) and you weren't the same people anymore, but you were still friends because it was easier to stay distant than to actually agree to end the friendship. So yeah, hanger-on friends. By the way, I made that word up, so if you use it you are infringing on my rights. Except you aren't because I don't have a patent. So I don't care if you use it or not. Whatever.

So anyway, I had this one friend in particular who felt the constant need to lie. I took offense to it, because I felt like she thought I was stupid enough to believe what she said, but now that I think about it, I think she probably lies to everyone, and has a genuine problem. The lie that bothered me the most, and is also the most recent (I suppose I could insert the phrase: The straw that broke the camel's back. I find that to be a strange phrase anyway. Don't camels typically live in dry arid climates? Why would a camel be carrying straw? I was never any good at those phrases anyway.) was that she didn't know that we had gotten engaged. Which I've already stated, is a lie. I sent her a text message the night we got engaged and she never replied. So about a month ago I couldn't take it anymore and I called her out on it. She came up with another lie, which I caught her in, and she came up with another lie, which I also caught her in. (I don't think it needs to be stated that she's a bad liar). So I decided that day that we were not friends anymore. I deleted her number out of my phone and declared it over, to myself. I didn't say anything to her because I did not want the confrontation and frankly, it wasn't worth it. Fast forward to last week. She noticed that I had deleted her as a friend on MySpace and sent me a message asking why. At first I was going to leave it open, just let the friendship die out until she got the point. But then I decided that I'm a better person than that and the least I could do is show her what it is like for the truth to be told. So I messaged her back and kept it short but sweet. I told her that I was not interested in holding on to friends who felt that they needed to lie to me constantly. I told her that I knew she had lied and I didn't want to talk about it. Then I told her that she should be honest with her other friends, because it isn't fair to them to always lie. She never said anything back. Which I didn't really expect her to. She knows she did as well as I do. My only problem with this situation though, is, was I supposed to do more? You're supposed to help your friends out right? She obviously has an issue, was I supposed to try to help her with that? When do you cross the line from being a good friend, to letting yourself look like a fool? I'm definitely not going to let someone walk all over me, but I can't help but feel that I didn't do all I could. What do you think?

1 comment:

  1. I had a friend like this in highschool. It was back in like Sophmore year or something like that. Anyway- I had already been having issues with her and another girl. It was always she said this and she said that between the both and I didn't know what to do because I didn't know if they were lying or not. Anyway, that's kind of besides the point. But it came down to this really big life event that finally had it all come out. I had told her that I put a restraining order on my ex boyfriend because he was stalking me and I made her promise not to tell anyone, before I even told her what was going on. She was the only one I told besides the school officer and Mrs. Mikol, who I know wouldn't have said anything because they understood the seriousness of the situation. Once again, not the point. But then I received an email from my ex saying he heard from my friend that I put a restraining order on him. Later that day my friend tried to contact me on AIM and I asked her why she told my ex about the restraining order. She completely denied the whole thing and I was even more mad and said I couldn't be her friend anymore. If she would have come clean when I confronted her and said it slipped, it would have been a different story. However, she chose to lie so I cut all ties.

    It wasn't until like October of last year that I was slapped in the face. Our pastor was talking about grudges and forgiving people. So I forgave her and we've recently started to hang out again. So maybe you should try and help her out if she wants it, if not just be there if she needs you again. It doesn't mean you have to be best buds, just forgive her for the mistake she made.

    Hope this helps you!



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