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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Not Ready Today: Part Two

We had another false alarm this weekend. Birth mom thought for sure she was in labor.

It turns out that she was not, and the doctor said that she won't be for a few more weeks. Good for baby.

She was having some pretty intense contractions though, so they gave her some medicine and we waited. While we were waiting we talked quite a bit. She told me more about her personal life, and about the birth father. They are no longer together, and she was telling me a lot about their relationship. She also told me about her childhood, and how it wasn't exactly pleasant.

She grew up in foster care, and unfortunately wasn't well cared for. We met with the doula two weeks ago and while we were talking the birth mom started crying. She told me that it wasn't that she was changing her mind, it was just that she has fears for her children because of the things she experienced in foster care. She knows that we will be good parents, but she cannot help but worry.

I told her that just as she worries about that, even though she knows we won't be those parents, we worry that she will still change her mind. In our hearts we know this is for real, and that she is serious, but in the back of our minds, there is always that chance.

I think getting to talk to her helped us to understand each other a little more.

She has stated before that she wants this to be a closed adoption. She thinks it will be easier for her and her other children to move on if there is no contact. I wonder now though if that will be harder for her because we have been talking so often. I will respect her wishes, but I wonder if she will change her mind when it comes down to it.

This is our baby:


  1. What a huge roller coaster of emotions between the three of you. I think it speaks volumes of her love for her children. Babies can never have too many people loving them. Is it an option for her to change her mind regarding the closed adoption once he's born? Obviously she knows how to get in touch with you. Would you be ok with that? Just curious. I know it's personal so feel free to ignore me. ;)

    1. She can always change her mind. We live close enough that we know people in common and have ways of contacting one another. Our adoption will technically be closed, but we've discussed what we're comfortable with. I'm open to talking to her, and sending pictures, but I want our child to make decisions about meeting, and I would prefer it be later in life, as does the birth mom.

  2. WOW. I'm so glad you and birth mom had a good conversation like that. It had to be hard for both of y'all!

    I can't wait for superbaby to be born. Thats all. And I like that picture. Even if it was fake.

  3. I LOVE that photo! You should frame it!

    I am praying for you! Stay strong. I cant wait until your peanut is here!

    1. I just framed an u/s photo! I may frame this one too :) Thank you for your encouragement!



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