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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Congratulations! Your Life is Changing!

I plan to follow this up with an AB (after birth) post. This one is obviously BB (before baby) and I want to get out there everything I don't understand about life after birth.
  • Your life is over.
Obviously, people aren't saying those exact words, oh wait, yes they are. For some reason everyone thinks our life as we know it is over. I suppose it is, in the way that we aren't going to have the free time that we do now. We won't be able to go out to bars every weekend, even though I can't even tell you the last time I went to a bar, as that has never been how we've chosen to spend out time.
  • Are you sure you want kids?
This comes from people with three kids and it makes me want to hug their children, and adopt them too. I should include that I work with all men, and they're the ones who say this to me.
  • You'll never see your friends again.
Why not? Our friends have kids. We see them. My parents have kids. We see them.  The people who state this very statement have kids.
  • Your marriage will never be the same.
I suppose I can get on board with this. I agree that our marriage won't be the same, but I think it will change for the better. I know some people think that having a child can fix the problems in their marriage. I'm not there at all. What I'm saying is that if we can make it through infertility together, I think we can make it through anything.
  • Your Xbox time is over.
I don't have Xbox time anyway, but Josh does, so this comment comes from his friends. He told me that the other night he was playing and someone he was playing with told him that his Xbox time is over.
  • I will become Josh's manager.
This one also comes from his friends. Unless I'm going to undergo a major personality transplant, I don't see how this one is true. My mom always says that I let Josh get away with everything. She's exaggerating of course (I think), but I am pretty laid back. Truth is, there is very little that he does that bothers me. We always discuss changes before he springs them on me. We may not always agree before it happens, but I trust him, and everything always turns out alright (even the time I had to help his dog deliver her puppies). We have had one discussion where I pointed out everything I've been laid back about and explained that the issue at hand is one I will not waver on. He respected that, and we're fine. I have no desire to manage my husband, and I don't see how this would change after the baby comes.  We're both happier this way.

How did your life change after birth?


  1. I love this post.

    So I very vividly remember my sweet daughter being about 5 weeks old and screaming her head off for hours at a time. I do not wish this on my worst enemy, FTR so I certainly hope SuperBaby does not do this to you. Anyway. Me and the husband were at our wits end and definitely taking it out on each other. I can remember thinking a couple things.

    1) the reason you need to be married before having kids is not for religious reasons but so that one of you can't walk out on the other. Because there will come a time when you will totally want to just leave.

    2) you better have a strong marriage before kids because screaming babies will rip you apart at the seams. My daughter showed us just how amazing our relationship really is.

    I have no doubt you two will be fine. Someone told me that just because your husband may not do something exactly as you do it (i.e. bathtime) doesn't mean he's doing it wrong. I was a control freak with our kid and had to remind myself of this often. It was good advice.

    I still see my friends. And go to bars on occasion. My marriage changed but for the better. I do not have as much time to read but I'm slowly regaining that. People love to tell horror stories. You and Josh will be awesome parents. Like you said, you've already been through so much together! I can't wait to meet SuperBaby!

    1. Thank you, Shoe! I personally think we'll be fine too. We know everything is going to change, but we want it to. Big time!

  2. I love this post, even though I am far from kids I hate how everyone tells you how your life will be. You are the only one that will make it so you see your friends or be your husbands manager not the baby!
    Also it drives me mad when people view change as a bad thing, change can also be for the good!

    1. I know exactly what you mean. We've been WANTING this change. We know it won't be easy, but we know somewhat what to expect.

  3. When A. was a newborn, Tim and I discussed how flabbergasted we were that anyone would have a baby to try to SAVE a marriage. Adjusting to life as new parents was one of the hardest things we've ever done in our marriage -- if we hadn't had a strong marriage to begin with, it might have broken us. However, hard as it was, we're a million times stronger now as a result. Not gonna lie, those early days are HARD. But they're also amazing and wonderful and 100% worth it. And before you know it, you'll find your parenting groove and everything will get easier.

    And, yeah, things change. But not THAT much. And certainly not in a bad way. Sure there are things we don't do as often as we used to now that we have the kiddo, but there are so many things we do now that we didn't before. As the last commenter said, change can be for the good! Of course everything's changing. But that's kind of the point, isn't it?

    1. We're looking forward to the change it will bring us. We've wanted it for so long. We know it won't be easy, but it will be worth it!



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