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Monday, March 23, 2009


I wasn't going to post about this, because I refuse to be a complainer. I take that back, I am a big time complainer, but I don't like to complain about things I cannot change. I don't like to be a whiner. I complain to Megan all the time, but its different. Complaining about being tired, or hungry, is not the same and constantly complaining about being unemployed. I'm not unemployed, just underemployed. I actually thought I made that word up, but I just Googled it, and there are all kinds of definitions for it. Good news is, I'm using it in the correct way. I'm actually using it in two ways. One way is when someone isn't working to their full potential, like a medical doctor driving a taxi cab. The other way to use it is when someone wants to work more hours, but isn't allowed to. I'm both of those. There is this girl on Facebook, I can see her profile because she's in the Fort Wayne network (this is where Ashley would call me a stalker) and she always shows up on my "People You May Know" thing. Anyway, ALL she ever does is complain about being unemployed, and how much the unemployment line sucks, and this and that, and blah blah blah. Here's a tip, the best way ever to look completely desperate: post a new Facebook status about how sucky your life is every five minutes. You'll get lots of positive reactions. Back to my story. On Friday I was told that my hours got cut because of budgets and slow work. That's fine. It's happening everywhere. But it really upset me. Wouldn't it upset you? I cried on Friday. A lot. Saturday was better, but I was in a bad mood basically all day. I've been so mean to my mom lately, (even before this happened) and I wasn't very nice on Saturday. I actually spent quite a bit of time with my family, and we worked some things out. Sunday Joshua and I went to the Y, and while I was on the treadmill I decided that I'm going to make this a positive change. There isn't any point of me sitting around, whining in my blog about how bored I am from sitting around on the couch all day (give me a break, this is just my first day..I can whine the first day). I'm going to get the house organized. I am going to get it clean. I am going to be a good student and devote the time to studying that I should, and get good grades this semester. Not just good grades, great grades. (I do my best, and most optimistic thinking on the treadmill). And most of all, I'll know that my life isn't over. It's far from over. On Friday I was really upset because I was afraid we weren't going to be able to pay bills. Now that my head is clearer, I know that I was really upset because it made me feel worthless. Why would they cut my hours and not someone elses? I don't really want this to happen to someone else though. But didn't I do a good enough job for them to at least try to keep me? I can see why this happened though. And since I can't do a thing about it, I'm going to improve everything that I can. I refuse to sit around and be a victim. This will turn out to be a good experience, I just don't know where it's headed yet. I have faith.

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