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Friday, February 22, 2008

I am so hard on myself.

Last night I realized how ridiculously hard I am on myself. I went home after a semi-long day. It wasn't really stressful, I guess I could just call it a long day. But I was starving. I called my mom and asked her to get my fish fillets out of the freezer so I could bake them with some salsa on top and have my left over brussels sprouts on the side. She got them out for me and I got home and started making them. Well the boys sister, Jordan was over last night with her dad and my family ordered Pizza Hut. I LOVE PIZZA. And while I was standing there waiting for my fish to get done I ate a piece. And then I ate another piece. And then I ate a breadstick with cheese and then another piece of pizza. And then I felt terrible. I had been doing so well with my diet and eating right. I allow myself to have cheat meals but this was massive. I couldn't believe I had eaten three pieces of pizza and a breadstick. So I went to the Y. I worked out and then did cardio. Now before you go thinking I'm some psycho weight loss junkie, I didn't work out any harder than I normally would have. But then I weighed myself and I had lost another pound. I've lost 16 now. And thats when it dawned on me. I was standing on the scale looking at my new weight and I realized that I'll be fine. I had one splurge meal. I'm not doing it all the time. I know what I'm doing and I need to calm down. Yesterday was just a series of small panic attacks all day. So yes, I wish I hadn't eaten the pizza but really, it's not going to kill me. So I promised myself I would chill out. It's worth the reward to watch what I eat, but it's not worth beating myself up over.

You can tell me on my cellphone
You can page me all night long
But you won't catch this freebird
I'll already be long gone
-Sheryl Crow, Steve McQueen

1 comment:

  1. HaHa! OMG-- I have a good one for you. I have been working out again- yes, finally- and doing the whole eat healthy thing which includes me counting my calories, which Matt absolutely hates by the way. Anyway- I was really craving some chocolate the other day after lunch so Matt went to get me a candy bar from Walgreens. I only intended on eating one serving that had like 170 calories in it. Well, needless to say, I ate the whole thing. Who can really only eat 1/3 of a candy bar anyway? I mean, COME ON!! Ok-- so later we went to Casas and I had like 1/3 of the salad and a tiny piece of bread and ate less than half of my pasta. Then about an hour and a hlaf after dinner, Matt left and came back with-- Dairy Queen. I ate it, becuase what girl in their right mind would turn up ice cream, especially the Strawberry CheesQuake blizzards?! It was only a small, but when I looked up the calories the next day it had-- brace your self-- 530 claories!!!! I was like, woah! That was only a small too! But I felt the same way you did- granted my slip was like a whole day slip, but I came back around and staying focused on eating healthy..
    Anyway-- keep up the good work!



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