Josh and I have fallen back into our everyday just-the-two-of-us life. I stopped running around with baby things to do. I started to read again and now I'm a professional television watcher. I haven't been in the baby's room in a week or so. It's almost like the past few months haven't happened. Our house is back to normal and seemingly our lives are too.
Now I'm starting to be concerned if I will really be a good mom. I don't worry anymore about how SuperBaby is doing. The birth mom and I don't have very good communication. Not that it is strained, it is just hard for us to connect. That is my opinion though. I don't know how she feels about it. But even though I haven't talked to her much, I'm not worried about SuperBaby. I'm not worried that she will change her mind. I'm not worried that she isn't taking care of herself. For the first time in my life I'm really alright. But aren't moms supposed to worry? For the first time in my life I'm going to be a mom and for the first time in my life I'm not worried. What the what? Furthermore, I'm writing a blog post complaining about not worrying. I don't even know who I am right now.
I don't know how to be a mom or take care of a newborn. I don't know how to manage everything all at once. I don't know what formula to pick, or how many outfits the baby needs. I don't know how we're ever going to go anywhere, because we don't even have a car seat. But honestly, it doesn't even matter. Obviously having a car seat matters, and we'll have one before the baby is born, but it doesn't matter that we don't have one yet, and I don't know for certain when we'll get one.
We have less than eight weeks to go.
A baby shower is being given for us in less than two weeks.
I never thought I would ever have a baby, let alone a baby shower. Perhaps after that, this will all be and feel more real to me.
Josh and I went on a romantic date last night. We got two gift certificates for Christmas, but the two restaurants we had them for were super packed, and we ended up at the China Buffet. Seriously. We talked a lot while we were there and Josh asked when I was going to reveal the gender. That's right. The gender. We asked the birth mom to not tell us what the sex of SuperBaby is, but she accidentally did, and we know. Josh wanted it to be a secret, but I think I will reveal it at the baby shower. So if you're anxiously waiting for it, you better be there.
And here is my parting gift to you. Our puppies are seven weeks old now and this week one of them will be going to their new home. It's also a surprise though, so that is all I can say.
|Class Photo L-R: Phoebe, Joey Tribbiani, Monica, Chandler, and Rachel|