Learn More About Me

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

That's Right, I Said It: Infertility

Caution Dad: You might not want to read this. It's girl stuff.

So I went to my doctor and she said "You, my friend, are a Fatty McFatterson who will never get pregnant unless you lose 100lbs."

I may have changed a few words. But she basically said that.

I don't know if you've ever seen me or not, but let me give you an idea of my overall size and shape. I am 5'10", 130lbs..oh wait..that isn't me. Right.

I'm 5'2" and I will not tell you my weight. What a rude thing to ask. However, I will tell you that I am a size 12. Since I've started running I'm more like a size 11, but I'm still wearing my 12's because I want to, and don't know where to buy an 11.

Onto the more serious stuff, Joshua and I have been talking about starting a family for a while. About three years, a while. We discussed it before we got married, and after we got married. We started really being serious about it right before our first anniversary. Josh was pro-baby long before I was. It's true.

So we got on the same page, we decided to start a family. I stopped taking my birth control pills.

And then nothing happened.

And still, nothing happened. Literally. No period, no ovulation, no baby.

So I go to my doctor and explain to her everything that is happening (or not happening). You know what her diagnosis is? LOSE WEIGHT.

Her actual diagnosis was Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or PCOS. I was diagnosed with this when I was 13. NEWS FLASH: I'm 25. The 90's called, and they want their diagnosis back.

Do you know about PCOS? Oh, you don't? Well let me explain my situation. Basically I have these little cysts on the inside of my ovaries. (Some people get them on the outside, instead of the inside. Cysts on the outside are painful, and cysts on the inside are not. Joshua taught me that is because the ovaries don't have nerves on the inside so I won't feel pain. He also told me that none of the organs have nerves on the inside. Now you've learned two new things today. You're welcome.) Anyway, little cysts inside my ovaries. They are (I'm not using the correct terminology. I had a hard time understanding the doctor language) little baby eggs that never formed right, so instead of leaving my ovaries and turning into a future baby, they formed a club and set up shop, much like those pesky Occupiers in your local park, except in my fat ovaries. Must be a cool place to hang, doesn't get cold in the winter, no cops kicking you out. Very exclusive.

So I don't ovulate. It has a fancy name, but it's just Latin for: NO BABY.

PCOS also effects insulin resistance and cholesterol and all those really fun things to talk about. My crabby doctor put me on Metformin, a diabetic medicine to hopefully help me lose weight and get everything working right. Nothing happened. And so it went, for nearly two years. Crabby Doctor kept putting me off until my next appointment. At my next appointment we would talk about trying this. At my next appointment we'll talk about trying that. Until one day, she said "You're fat, and we might talk in a few more months". Again, paraphrasing.

After my crabby doctor called me a Fatty McFatterson, and referred me to a dietitian instead of moving forward with anything, I switched to a new doctor. Brilliant idea. My new doctor has been moving forward very quickly, almost to the point where I get that panicky feeling where I think we're sprinting and I should be pacing myself.

She put me on a medicine that is making me the Queen of Eating Dark Chocolate. (Take that old doctor.) I'm crabby, tired, crabby, and tired. It's called Provera. I am going to be on this for a few more days, have a period, and then start Clomid. A fertility medicine. It is supposed to make me ovulate. My new, happy doctor told me that the success rate of Clomid is 75%.

She also said that the chance for twins is 6-10%.

I have no problems with that.

While I was waiting for my happy doctor to give me my lab forms (I have to go like every three days while I'm on Clomid) and I heard the nurse holler (had to throw a Nanny word in there for you) to my doctor: "is the reason for these infertility?" My doctor didn't respond quite as loud, I'm guessing due to tact, but when I heard it, I thought to myself: Yeah, I do have infertility. There is no harm in accepting it, or saying it. No need to be secretive about it. No need to feel bad about it. 

So, I'm not. After two years, I'm telling you. Because, why not? Don't expect a regular weekly Ovary Update from me to be featured here, but I will talk about it from time to time. And hopefully if things work out, I'll eventually share with you things about our family. It's a one day at a time thing though.

I would really love to talk to you if you're in this same boat, or even if you're not. I'd really just love to talk to you. My email is up there in the sidebar if you feel like contacting me.


  1. You're so right, nothing wrong with it, no reason not to say it out loud. I'm glad you did. Let's do this. Let's get those ovaries ovulating. I'm pulling for you!

  2. I could have written this post. I have PCOS and am currently on my third round of clomid. It has not been easy and will not be easy but I am hopeful.

  3. Infertility is more common than people realize, just not everyone brave enough to talk about it. kudos to you. It has really helped me to blog and talk to others about my infertility. I know lots of people who have had great success with clomid and I will be praying for you and thinking of you!

  4. Oh girl. I'm so terribly sorry! I'm unfamiliar with infertility (because we aren't even talking about trying yet), but I sincerely hope that those ovaries start ovulating soon for you!

  5. Just sent you a massively long email! Our stories sound one in the same! But it can happen :) Hugs to you!!



Related Posts with Thumbnails