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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Just Another Day At Good Ol' B & M.

Yes, I work in an office where the abbreviated initials are B & M. I think its hilarious, but people seriously call it that. I only call it that because its so funny.

Every once in a while we have staff meetings. They are usually a joke, just a reason to get everyone in the same room and eat food. We always hear, last year was great, lets keep it up for this year, please make sure you're dressing appropriately, blah, blah, blah. I guess the point wasn't getting across or something, because today they brought in a speaker from "Professional Courtesy" to speak with us about dress code and dress professionalism in the work place. Here are a few tips that you can carry on to your own professional environment:

-Be as physically attractive as you can. (I wake up in the morning and try to make myself look ugly.)
-Look like the position you want (The position I want is at home, laying in bed. Can I wear my sweats to work?)

-Wear subtle make-up and maintain a well-groomed hairstyle. (We have a few in the office who do their make-up in the dark.)
-Dress appropriately for all occasions and your age. (Very important to those who are my grandmother's age but shop in my stores.)
-Purchase the highest quality clothes and accessories you can affors, even if you have to buy less. (I would love to go flat broke to buy a $400.00 purse, I can afford it, but I can't afford anything else. And of course I'd love to have one outfit to wear because I couldn't afford more.)
-Always have the basics. (If you can afford the basics, if not, buy less.)
-Always complete the outfit with accessories. (Like an ambulance for when you realize how stupid you were to spend so much on the best you can afford.)
-Always wear properly fitted garments. (No kidding.)

-Bring your sex appeal to the office. (No problem. Like I'd waste it on these people anyway.) -Set yourself apart as though you were better than your peers. (What if my peers can't afford as much as I can?)
-Appear unkempt. (So no bed head? Damn.)
-Dress trendy of too young. (I believe I've heard this before.)
-Wear heavy make-up or purchase clothes to have more. (Ok, I know we're repeating ourselves..the DO list must have been longer.)
-Scrimp on a few quality accessories. (Like a $400 bag??)
-Wear clothes the fit too tightly or too loosely. (Which won't be a problem when we all get our personal tailors.)

FYI: "Do not wear flats if you are less than 5'10" in height." Interesting.

My personal favorite is this woman's personal slogan:
"If you want to wear the pants in the office do not wear pants to the office!"
Please note, she gave her presentation, in pants.

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