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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

If I Knew Then...

Even though I am a mom now, I'm also still a card carrying member of the infertility crowd. Infertility is hard. Personally, I think going to the OB/GYN is hard enough, but multiply that by the times you have to go for your non-annual appointment and you start to feel, well, kind of, open for business. If you're struggling with infertility, I'm sorry. It's a sucky place to be. Hopefully you don't have a long road ahead of you, but if you do, these tips might make things a little easier.

I want to share with you some of the tips those of us with experience have collected that may help you if you're just beginning on this journey. They're things we wish we had known in the beginning.
  • Ask the clinic if their lab/bloodwork hours listed are up to date. These seem to change frequently for some reason. Ask if you need an appointment for the lab or if you just walk in.
  • Ask exactly what you're supposed to do when AF makes her appearance. Also make sure to ask what day 1 looks like. Some say first day of bright red blood, others say first day of heavy flow.
  • Have a list of your questions to ask when you get someone on the phone. It's hard to get someone in the first place, so make good use of the person you finally get.
  • Don't buy digital pregnancy tests! They are expensive, and I think we all collectively agree, seeing the words "not pregnant" is more painful than not seeing a line.
  • An ultrasound is not how it appears in the movies. There is no jelly on the belly and an exciting picture on the screen. They're going to do the ultrasound by putting the wand up in your business and the picture will be hard to recognize anything.
  • A baseline ultrasound (the very beginning of your cycle) is done while you're bleeding. So there's that.
  • Communication with your insurance company is key. Not all states require coverage, and the ones that do have coverage often have limitations. Find out what you're getting into first so you know how you'll proceed. Another note: in my case, PCOS was covered by insurance, so I was caught off guard when suddenly nothing was covered when we started seeing the RE. My insurance offers zero coverage for infertility, so that is something I wish I had known before I was paying out of pocket for an ultrasound.
  • Communication with the billing office of your doctor's office is also key. It's often a bummer to talk to them, but it's necessary.
  • You cannot be over prepared for an appointment. Take too much with you. I always took my folder that contained every bit of paperwork I had with me. Just. In. Case. Often my doctor didn't have the info from my last appointment, and when I switched doctors they didn't have everything right on hand. More often than not my doctor would look at my copy of records instead of his own.
  • Wear socks! Stirrups are cold.
  • Talk to someone. Infertility is a very emotional process, and no two people experience it the same. Cut yourself some slack and don't be too prideful. It's hard and it sucks.
Do you have any tips to add?


  1. Stay close to your partner. Deal with infertility TOGETHER.

    1. Absolutely. It is so easy to lose sight of your marriage when you're focusing so hard on getting pregnant.

  2. Agree with the comment above! This is a great post!



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