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Monday, October 29, 2012

I Learned Something Today.

My entire life I had this feeling, or opinion if you will, that  parents could not love their adopted children as much as they could love their biological children. I didn't have any real basis for that, it is just what I thought.

I was raised an only child after my younger sister died. My parents discussed adoption from time to time, but never brought home another baby. I actually don't know their reasons for not adopting when I was younger, and it really doesn't matter. I think, that in my young mind I believed it would be too hard for them to love an adopted child after they had lost a biological child. Almost like a replacement.

When I was in my first week of my first year of college, I came home after a night class and my parents had a baby. Like a newborn was laying on a changing table in our spare bedroom. My mom quickly explained that we were becoming a foster family and were taking care of this tiny baby on an emergency placement. Here I had lived my 18 years as an only child and I come home to find a baby. Such a shock, to say the least.

We went through foster care training as a family, and William became integrated into our family. I learned how to take care of a baby and I fell so much in love with him.

Soon after William was born, his birth mom became pregnant again. And when William was six months old, a judge decided that his birth mom had shown enough improvement that she could have him back again. I remember looking at him laying on his changing table and just crying because I was so sad he was leaving us. It was awful. William went back to live with his birth family, and Dillian was born. Their birth parents were still involved in the court system and were being monitored. Eventually the boys were returned to my parents care.

The pain I felt when they didn't live with us is all the proof I needed to know that I was so wrong in thinking that adopted children can't be loved the same.

My brothers were adopted on September 5, which is the birthday of my sister who died.

We all went out to dinner on Friday night and I told the boys about our baby. I explained that Josh and I are adopting and that they are going to be uncles. They were so excited and immediately started giving their recommendations for baby names (Cobra, Bob, Bobby, Luke, Periwinkle, Maleena, Bobber, Sloppy Joe, among others). They told me that I should start thinking about buying a bigger house, because a baby needs its own room. They are so full of advice.

And they are the reason why I already know that our baby will never lack love. We already love our baby so much and we've never even met. So today I was walking to my car after work and I realized that if I never get pregnant, I will be fine. We are being given life, just by a different delivery method. I truly believe that our baby is worth the years of hurt we experienced at the hands of infertility. And I'm so excited to share this experience with my brothers so they can see just how amazing life is.

As a side note: our baby has a new name. I was saying "Baby T", but it has been changed to "SuperBaby". You know. It fits.

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  1. Periwinkle! I love it!

    Your little one is going to be so loved.

  2. I love Superbaby! I also love Sloppy Joe. Your brothers are name geniuses.

  3. This totally made me cry because the sadness you described is how I feel at times now with my brothers so far away. I think your experience of being a much older sister is going to benefit you so much through this process and I once again am so excited for you.

    1. Thank you so much! Little brothers are the best. :)

  4. love love love this! I am so excited for you!

  5. Superbaby is so, so, lucky!! :) <3



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