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Monday, April 9, 2012

God Never Wastes A Hurt

I'll just get right into it.

It has been a rough month for me. I haven't posted about it on here because I feel like I'm constantly saying the same things over and over. There hasn't been one event that has made me more upset about my infertility, but it seems to be slowly wearing me down.

It is exhausting.

Last week, Ingrid and I took a week off from the gym because we were getting burnt out, having numerous aches and pains, and she was leaving me to visit Heaven (aka IKEA, Container Store, and Godiva). Last Friday was our first day back in the gym. I have never been happier to get back to working out. Anyway, I'm getting off point.

I went to the gym tonight much much later than I typically go. Josh is at Eric's house doing their podcast so I figured I would wait and go then instead of passing him on his way out the door. So I go and get on my treadmill (by the way, Ingrid and I are designing a new line of gym shirts for women, you're going to want to buy one of these.)

I just made all of these on CafePress.com where you can design your own shirts. 

I'm fairly certain that is going to make us millions.

By some miracle today is one of those very rare days where I can't actually hear the seconds ticking away on the machine. Time wasn't really an issue to me like it so frequently is when I'm running. I decided I was going to go until I couldn't go any more. I'm looking all around to see if I know anyone, and basically look everywhere except for directly in front of me.

I had been running about five minutes when I notice the guy in front of me is wearing a shirt that says "God Never Wastes A Hurt" on the back. My first thought was well, that is a variation of "pain in weakness leaving the body". And I pretty much dismissed it without thought. And then for some reason, I really started to think about it. I mean, I was right behind this guy, too far from the televisions to really get into a show, and his shirt is basically reading itself to me.

For some reason, I had to stare at this one phrase for 30 minutes, sweating to death, before I realize how I desperately want to believe it. If God never wastes a hurt, that means this can't go on forever. We're not stuck in this stage for the rest of our lives. Something is going to change.

I'm sorry to everyone who always says this to me, but there is only so much "everything happens for a reason" that I can take. I'm sorry if that is cold, or rude, but its true. If you don't like it, sign up for your own blog and talk about how mean I am. But tonight, after staring at this guys shirt for so long, I realized its just a different way of saying "everything happens for a reason". The part I struggle with the most is not knowing what the reason is. Maybe all I really needed this whole time was words written on a stranger's shirt that I had to stare at for half of an hour. (It sounds just as crazy to me, trust me.)

This guy gets off of his elliptical machine and when he turns around to clean his machine I see that it is an Alcoholic's Anonymous shirt.

I suppose that means I'm an alcoholic now too. I've been told there are wineries named after me.

I just found this photo. Isn't he super hot?
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