Maybe A Title Will Come To Me

I've been struggling a lot lately. And it's not because I haven't had support. I have been blessed to have the most loving and caring friends and family around me. My problem though, is that I don't feel the same way about all of my family. On Friday, my Nanny asked us all to not complain about one another, and I had no idea how hard that would be until I had to honor her request. To be honest, I don't think I said one word the whole day. I didn't realize how much I complained, I actually don't think any of us did. As horrible as this sounds, I do love all of my family, there are just some I'd rather be around than others. I don't have patience for many of them, and I don't know how to change my own attitude to accept them. I would never have a friend that exhibited the same character traits that they have, but I feel I need to try harder, because they are my family. But how hard do you try? I can try to set aside my differences, but will they?

Another thing I've been struggling with lately is the concept of Heaven. Josh and I have talked a lot about it the past few days. I am having a hard time understanding it though. Joshua gave me a book to read that he says will help me understand, but I'm having a hard time concentrating on it, or anything really.

I've been freaking out, because our wedding is 123 days away. I have a lot to still do. My biggest disappointment though, is that my Papa won't be there to see us.