We went out with some friends for our birthdays in early February this year. Around 10pm I was fading fast, and that became the topic of conversation. I was so tired because I had a nearly one year old, and I had been tired for a whole year.
Then shortly after that conversation, I became responsible for two. I quickly realized that I didn't know what tired was.
These two are close in age, just 2.5 months apart, and lucky for me,
started mirroring each other and seeing who could scream louder. Of
course, it doesn't stop there. The crying became louder, the unhappiness
became unhappier, and the hunger somehow became a near-death experience
every single time. One day I had one sweet little baby, and the next I
was elbow deep in two toddlers.
I had a long conversation with my friend Mettie, mom to twins, about the struggle of trying to be
everything to everyone. She gave me some really great advice, and I knew
that I needed to be better about taking care of myself.
Here is how I cope:
I made myself start exercising again. I started with a Couch to 5k app
on my phone, and then started to realize how much I missed lifting
weights. I finally (after a year) made getting in to the gym a priority
to myself once again, and realized that I hadn't lost as much strength
as I feared.
2. I made myself start reading again. I love to read, but that suffered
when my responsibilities doubled. I picked out a few books from the
library and took the boys with me to pick them up. They love getting to
see the fish, and we all love getting out of the house.
3. I made
time for visiting with friends. I have a block of time during the week
where I drop one child off for a visit with family, and the other stays
with my husband, and I meet up with friends for coffee. I cannot tell
you how this has made me feel like myself again. Occasionally, I'll run
an errand during this time, but I'm pretty good about reserving it just
4. I have grandmas on standby. My mom and my mother in law
are great at helping me when I need a break. One night a week after the
boys are in bed, one is usually available to let me go get done what I
need to do, or just go do something I want to do.
5. Wine Friday. And sometimes Saturday, and Sunday.
might sound selfish, and you know what, they are. I've found though
that I need to be a little selfish to be the type of mom I want to be,
and to keep my sanity.
Do you have any additional tips to help handle two at once? (I know, I know, ask my mom.)