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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

So I Was Trying to Sleep

But the wheels are turning. I'm in a creative writing class this semester, and so far I hate it. I shouldn't hate it already, because I've only had two classes and haven't given it much of a chance, so I'll keep an open mind, but as of now, I hate it. When I thought about creative writing, I didn't think I would be writing poetry. I figured that this blog was a type of creative writing. I mean I get on here and talk about whatever I want. I know it's not formal, and it's not even good, but it's my own expression, that's how I see creative writing. I can't wrap my mind around the point of there being good and bad poetry, or right and wrong poetry. Isn't that up to the writer? Isn't it all our interpretation? I don't like creativity. I like facts. I like the date the war started and the date it ended. I like concrete facts. I do not like trying to pull emotion out of words that mean nothing to me, feelings I don't understand.

Joshua likes poetry, and even though I've never seen anything he's written (because he writes when he's mad at me), I'm pretty sure he's good at it. I've been asking him questions about poetry every ten minutes since the class started. I told him that I have nothing to write about. I've never been to war, I've never lost all of my belongings in a fire, I've never been heartbroken, I feel like I'm too happy to write good poetry. He told me to write about how I felt on our wedding day.

Which brings me to another topic...engaged females. I am absolutely not talking about any of my friends here, I'm talking about the rest of the world. My friends have it together, and understand life and marriage, other girls don't. That is why you're my friends, and they are not.

A girl I work with is in her best friend's wedding next month. I was looking at her best friends Facebook profile and in the little box where it says "Write something about yourself", she wrote "September 18 is going to be the best day of my life"...or something like that. I don't know if that's the right date or not, but it really doesn't matter. For her sake, and every other female getting married, I hope that your wedding is not the greatest day of your entire life. What a disappointment. I personally hope I haven't had my greatest day yet. I am saving that day for the birth of our children, their first words, or their graduation. I'm not saying that our wedding day wasn't a great day, because it was a wonderful day. I wouldn't change a thing, but the thing is, I don't know how I felt. I know I was happy, but I was so excited that everything was a blur, and then it was over.

If I had to pick the one day of my life so far that is the greatest day I've ever had, it would be the day after our wedding. May 17, 2009.

I can tell you exactly how I felt that day. It was wonderful. A different kind of wonderful than our wedding day. I feel like that Sunday went in slow motion, just so I could remember how perfect it was. I can remember how it felt to be called Mrs. for the first few times, how it felt to have my husband look at me...it was different than before, and how relaxed we instantly were. It was absolutely the best day of my life...except that we didn't really do anything special.

I know we got up to Nate knocking on our door, Josh took Nate over to his moms house to look for his missing belongings. I cleaned up the house a bit to get ready for everyone coming over to open gifts. Then everyone showed up, we had breakfast, sat and talked, and everyone left. We went to Sam's to get dog food so that they could be fed while we were gone. We came home and Chris and Jeremy came to get a hat that was left at our house, and we were locked out, so my dad had to come over to let us back in. Then he took Josh's tux back, and we packed and left for our honeymoon around six. It seems odd that there wasn't some big event to make it the greatest day around, but it was all the same.

If you want to help, I would greatly appreciate any advice anyone has about reading or writing poetry. I really could use all the help I can get. And if I can give anyone some advice, please don't count on your wedding being the best day of your whole life. It is only one day, and hopefully your marriage will be the rest of every day you're alive.

What matters is what life is like once you take off the fancy clothes, and live.

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