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Thursday, May 16, 2013

Another Big Change

Don't get excited, it isn't that big of a change. At least not to you, but it is to me.

First of all, I got this back. I left my calendar at work on my desk and just got it back yesterday when I went back to clean out my desk.

You read that right. I had the courage to quit my job. I thought it was funny that was on today's date because tomorrow is my official last day, even though I'm really already done.

With very mixed feelings of happiness and sadness, I knew it was what I wanted to do. But I didn't know that doing what I ultimately wanted could make me such an emotional wreck. I'm happy that I can be home with Isaiah. I'm relieved that we don't have to find and pay for childcare. I'm excited to teach him things and be present for his firsts. The sadness comes from ending a very important part of my life because I feel like my job is the last part of "pre-Isaiah" me that was left. I've had a job for 13 years, with the exception of a 3 week stint of unemployment directly before I started this last position. I used to love leaving jobs and starting new ones, but I never left a job that I loved. With my last job, I didn't love my actual job, but I loved my coworkers and I've never had that in a job before. Also, I was good at what I did. This being a mom thing is still all new, and it's hard.  And if you say "but you doooo have a job!" I might hit you. I know that being a mom is work, but you also know what I mean.

I'm really at odds with my feelings right now. I've wanted to stay at home forever, but now I realize that I really thrive on a 9-5 schedule. I need structure, and these past 11 weeks have been very structure-less. My biggest problem is adjusting to my own expectations. I feel like I'm supposed to do absolutely everything. I mean, I'm home all the time, why not? I feel a little like I need to overcompensate with doing everything because I'm not bringing home a paycheck anymore. It also makes it hard that my family isn't supportive of our decision. Everyone has their own opinion though.

I guess, what I'm getting at, is that I need tips, suggestions, or help knowing how I'm supposed to do this.  How did you adjust to being at home?

12 comments:

  1. Very glad you made the decision that is right for you're family. I think you should get helpful hints from Krystal, she seems to have it down packed. Enjoy your little man, cause they grow up fast. I'm happy for you guys :-)

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    1. Thank you! It's a day to day struggle, but I think we're slowly getting it together. :)

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  2. Good for you for making the decision that works best for your family. That's all you can do.

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    1. Thank you! It was a huge change, but we're getting used to it.

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  3. It was really hard adjusting to not working. I found by keeping myself busy it helps more. I try to go to play dates with my friends at least once a week. That way I still get adult interaction. You could also join a local MOPs group. Even though its "Moms of Preschoolers" they welcome little babes too. :) I've also learned to just let go and realize some days I won't get done what I wanted around the house, but sometimes baby cuddles are more important. Enjoy yourself!

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    1. Once I cut the pressure of getting everything done in one day, things seemed to get easier. I started a moms group today that I'm excited about!

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  4. What has worked best for me over these last two years is developing a routine, which I am sure with a baby is harder but slowly it will come together. Also each morning when I wake I tell myself what I am going to do that day like "today I am going to shower, do the dishes, blog, take out the trash" whatever and as each thing gets done I feel good and it helps cut out feeling the day has no direction.
    Another thing that I know will change my day is if I get dressed and attempt to do my hair and a little makeup, I have like a uniform I wear during the week of yoga pants and tank tops but when Fredrik is going to be home or on the weekend I try to wear jeans and a sweater or something like that so it does not seem like a never ending cycle of week upon week.

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    1. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I force myself to get dressed, which is easier now that I'm babysitting other kids and don't want their parents to see me in my PJs. Also, I decide what is getting done that day and what isn't. Now that we have a better sleep routine I plan to do chores after Isaiah goes to bed, which works except the days when I need to sit around and drink wine. :)

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  5. Congratulations! That's a big step to take, and it sounds like it's the best decision for your family.

    I don't have many tips, but I think one of the most important things is to try to get out of the house at least every couple of days. It'll be easier with the warm weather -- trips to the park, walks around the block, etc. I'd also suggest finding schedules for mommy-baby activities -- storytime at the library, local playgroups, etc. I tend to get stir crazy when I stay home for too long, and I feel like getting out into the world is a great way to relieve that.

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    1. Thank you! We've been utilizing the library like crazy this summer! I agree that getting out of the house is a must! I start getting the crazy in my eye if I'm inside too long.

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  6. Way to go, girl! What a hard decision to make. I agree with you that not having a schedule is awful. The first bit that I was home (with no kids, though) I had no idea what I was going to do. Now I have a list of stuff I do that's a combination of stuff for the house (cleaning, cooking) and stuff for myself (writing, painting my nails). I also make sure that I leave the house every day, whether that's going for a walk or driving around for errands, because if I don't, I have a tendency to go a bit crazy always staying inside. You'll eventually figure out what works best for you! But don't be so demanding on yourself for doing ALL of the house stuff. I feel bad sometimes when I haven't made dinner in a couple of days, but the reality is that my hubs has a responsibility for that too. You know. cause he also lives here and I'm not his mother. ;)

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    1. I am always telling Josh that I'm not his mom! :) looking back on this post (and realizing what a bad responder I've been) has made me realize that maybe I'm getting back to normal life. It's a good feeling.

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