Step One: Meet the Parents

Once Joshua and I decided we were going to jump into adoption, the first step was to start communicating with the parents.

We differ greatly from most adoption cases. Many families in our situations will go through their home study and use an agency to place a child with their family. We are a bit backward in that our child found us first.

My mother in law spoke with the birth mom on the phone, and one thing was clear. The birth mom wanted to meet us. She wanted to make sure that we are decent people and will provide a loving home for the baby.

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This is completely understandable, and in my opinion, very responsible. However, it made me extremely nervous and afraid of what she would think of us. We agreed to have dinner together, and coincidentally it was the same day that Joshua took his PTA exam. Talk about a stressful day.

We sat down at dinner and started talking. Well. I started talking. I had thought about what I was going to say before we went, and it helped. I told her about my brothers and that because of them we know with certainty that we will love this baby as though it were our biological child.

I had coffee with my beautiful friend Maria recently, and we discussed so much. She was adopted by her dad. When her adoption was final he told her that she was not his stepdaughter. He told her that he believed God had made her his daughter. That God can do anything, and on that day he changed her DNA and made her his biological child. I nearly cried when she told me that. It is so beautiful and shows the depth of his love for her. I also understand it. I never think of my brothers as anything except my brothers, and I will never think of our child as anything except for our child.

The birth mom told us that was the only question she had for us. She wanted to know if I would hold the baby in my arms and tell it that I'm its Mama. She wanted to know if I would be excited for the baby, and if I would look upon the baby's face with love.

We all agreed that we felt better after meeting one another. It helped to smooth out some of the anxiety for all of us.

We met the birth father separately from the birth mom. They are no longer together, but still speak to one another. We decided though that it would probably be best to meet separately.

The meeting with the birth father was different than our meeting with the birth mom. I think he was much more nervous than the birth mom was, and it honestly was a little more uncomfortable. We all made it though, and he agreed that he would sign the papers that fulfill his end of placing the baby with us. He can do this before birth, so we will have this completed soon.

It was important for us to meet them though. We plan to be open with our child about the adoption. I feel like now we have information that can answer some of the questions our child might have in the future.

If we have to be uncomfortable for a few months in order to give our child peace of mind in the future, so be it. I would already do anything for our baby.

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