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Sunday, November 11, 2012

Do You Realize What Happens In Labor?

Um, I didn't. I started reading "Your Baby's First Year", and it is starting to read like a horror story.

I mean, I know how babies are born (Mom set me straight on that when I was five years old. Thanks, Mom.) but seriously. Come on.

The more I read about it, the more I'm convinced that I'm not meant to go through that. I can't read about the various ways they can administer pain medication without feeling light headed. And when I started looking at the chart that shows Apgar scores I almost started panicking. What if our baby doesn't score high? IT IS ALREADY A COMPETITION.

My biggest fear is bonding.
Source

I didn't buy a book on birth from the adoptive mom's standpoint (no idea why I didn't think of that), but this book talks about the importance of bonding. Extra emphasis on bonding through breastfeeding. I am not going to breastfeed. That may sound silly to you, but I have seen/heard more than once where women induce lactation. This also makes me light headed. I'm not judging you, but I just can't do it.

They wrote like two whole pages on bonding immediately after birth when they lay your beautiful pink baby on your chest and you gaze into each others eyes and beautiful music plays and your makeup is perfect and your husband rubs your feet.

This is not going to happen to me.

And here is where I panic.

How in the world is our baby going to love me if I can't be in the hospital bed, exhausted from labor, and in awe of what my body just did? What is our baby going to think when it looks up at me? Will our baby know that I wasn't the one who gave birth? Will the baby know to love me?

I would love to write more, but I'm off to catch the 12:15 stop of the Crazy Train. See ya'll later.

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14 comments:

  1. I say this with a lot of love...hush your mouth. SuperBaby is going to love you so much! You will be his (I think it's a boy) momma! You will rock him to sleep and encourage him and make really dumb faces to see him smile. Srsly, you are so going to rock this momma gig.

    PS-induced lactation weirds me out like wHoa. And I totes BF-ed my kid for 9 months. So you're not alone there.

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    1. Thank you, my friend. In my heart I know everything will be fine, but my scumbag brain is all "nooooooooo".

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  2. Oh my, had no idea they could induce lactation. And I was too exhusted after labor to have those "moments". They said, "It's a girl," and I just went: oh...okay even though I was totally excited because a girl was what I was hoping for.

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    1. I was so surprised when I hear it the first time! I can't even imagine what it will be like when the baby is born. I'm excited :)

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  3. Throw that book away and get one for adoption. :) There are so many great stories out there!

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    1. Jodi, do you have any recommendations? I bought "Baby, You Were Meant For Us" last night.

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  4. I agree about throwing away that book. You will be fine and bonding will be fine. Superbaby will know you are it's mom. You have nothing to worry about!

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    1. Thank you, friend. :) It is all nervewracking. I need to calm down.

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  5. You bond with your baby the same way any parent bonds with their baby. LOVE! In my classes we learned that you bond in the first SIX months of the child's life. You know I bottle fed Malakhi, he loves me just the same. May I suggest skin to skin when you feed SuperBaby though if you are worried. I suggest you get you one of those adoption books. <3

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    Replies
    1. Lisa, I've not heard of a skin to skin approach. Do you have any other information about it?

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    2. All I know is that my Dr told me to lift my shirt and take Malakhi's shirt off while I fed him. That way it gives the effect of nursing. Because when mothers nurse there is skin to skin contact. You just want the baby's skin touching your skin. This method was used with a few friends of mine while their baby's were in the NICU too. Naked baby on Mommy's chest. Helps establish the bond, regulate baby's body temp. You could probably start right away in the hospital! Some articles even suggest it more than just at feedings. This is a good read http://www.education.com/magazine/article/newborn-adoption-bonding/
      And another good read
      http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=2013
      I should also add I came into Gabe's life when he was about 6 months old. I can't tell you how bonded I feel to that child, even missing his newborn years. :) I feel the same about him as I do about the one I birthed!

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    3. Very interesting! Thank you so much for sharing!

      In my heart, I know that adopted children can bond with their mothers. My brothers don't have any issues with my parents, it is just my nervousness and anxiety getting the best of me.

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  6. My sister-in-law didn't meet her baby until the baby was one month old, but they still bonded easily. It's less about being together immediately and more about just being together. Your baby will learn quickly how deeply you love him/her and that's all that will matter.

    Also, I second the skin-to-skin recommendation. It's a great way to feel close to your baby, no matter how you come into each other's lives.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Audrey. I am interested in the skin to skin.

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